I go drift-net trawling for porn

 A series of text messages to a friend late one night. Well, not all that late, really, for a weekend. But, maybe he's out being sociable. Who knows. Anyway: 

So, not sure if this is going to work itself up into another one of those little rambles...

but I go drift-net trawling for porn.

I know that there are genres I like, and personalities I like, and body types and particular perverted sexual acts that I seek out in descriptions and specific studios... but I just enjoy downloading a bunch of stuff that might be interesting... and then skimming really quickly through it. 

I can tell with watching just a few bits of the action, if it will make me cum watching it. Or at least something that I'll enjoy spending 25 minutes watching and playing with my dick. There's got to be a particular chemistry. If it's not a good connection, they can be fucking Cirque de Soleil actors butthole-juggling billiard balls...  it's soulless feeling, and I can't connect with it well. I have enough trouble connecting with people in real life, the one place I'm actually pretty good, is sexually, and that chemistry is important to me enjoying what I'm doing, or watching other people doing while I wrestle one-handed with my cock. 

Some of the really intense stuff that doesn't have the chemistry, I still watch for the technical expertise. I did a whole rant about my craftsmanship fetish, it's in the hopper somewhere. ANYWAY. So, with a few particular interest stops (is there spanking or armpit licking in the foreplay? Is there serious skullfuckery in the oral? DOES HE CHOKE HIM WITH HIS COCK? Do they fuck together well as a pair? And does the orgasm feel like they meant it... I can skim through a video in just a few seconds, and I've got a stack of ones I know I will find hot where it actually seems like the performers were having human being sex, and ones I know will never cream my Twinkie because they look like people miming people having sex, after having never SEEN people having sex, and having had it explained to them in a foreign language. I do my best to not have sex that doesn't connect like that for me. And I'm intense and directed and laser-focused when I'm in knock-down-and-fuck mode, and I usually establish about 70% of the connection just looking at a guy, and seeing how he reaches for my cock, because I'm usually not reaching for his, I'm reaching for his nipple, or perhaps putting two fingers on his lips and then pushing them into his mouth, because we both KNOW already, or I'm grabbing his ass, spreading the cheeks with my fingers to feel his hole. My favorite is clean and dry - there's some dom-Daddy thrill in knowing that I'll be the first cock to stretch that cunt tonight, but also knowing that if I decide I'm going to go downtown for lunch, I can be confident the doughnuts are fresh. I like to pull my finger up and smell clean, healthy manhole, which I rub in my mustache... I love the way guys smell when they're natural and fresh, but not covered in body spray or weird oil. I'm not a prude about fucking guys at a party or club if they've been fucked already, but I'm not into other guy's jizz on my dick as a fetish. Not nearly as much as I am about MY jizz on EVERYFUCKINGBODY in the room's dick. Find hottest boy when he arrives... target him, cut him from the herd, check and he's.... fresh as a Daisy! Sweet. I breed that hole, the two of us standing surrounded by guys jerking their dicks, and I know every hot confident Daddy in the room tonight is going to walk around with my DNA in his dick hair. These things go through my mind. It also gives me both an extreme dominant type thrill, and a kind of competitive rush, to think it through, and TELL THE BOY AS I'M BREEDING HIM, not in a quiet voice, but, you now, loudly enough that the other Daddies who were stroking their dicks could hear me, that I'm filling him with my seed, and he's the hottest piece of ass in the room, and I wanted to mark him with my hand prints and my bite marks and my scent and my seed, and make sure everybody sees me own his hole FIRST, and I want every top in the room to have my juice in his pubes. That was a GOOD party. OMG, it was good. I felt so big. 

ANYWAY. For me, the HOTTEST thing is connection. I got distracted from the theme, but it was thematically related. That was a SERIOUSLY connected buttfuck. And he was one SERIOUSLY beautiful pornostud, and I knew my mission was well and thoroughly accomplished, and I was topping all of those other guys in addition the one I put my semen inside until it ran down his leg. I learned in Robin Baker's "SPERM WARS" (warning: I'm a hardcore audiobook-listening geek about a lot of subjects; TALK NERDY TO ME) that human males actually produce more abundant amounts of sperm and seminal fluids when in situations with potential mate competition... I must have cum two tablespoonsful. I squirted him full like a Bavarian cream donut. ANYWAY. So... if there's no connection, I'll watch a very few that have something like highly proficient double penetration (usually a Lucas Film), or some really technical caning (usually a Breederfuckers), just for notes... and then delete. 

So I go through on this one torrent site, and I download a shit-ton of porn. Sift through it with the super-rough filter, and toss 90% of it as unjerkable. Often more like 98%. I'll admit, the sifting itself becomes something of a stereotypic behavior, and I should probably limit it. :shrug: It's fun for now. It may cease to be fun. Sometimes I won't do it for months. 

But the reason I don't just specifically follow ONE studio, or a small stable of actors... some of the ones I never thought would push the button, PUSH THE BUTTON. It's not always just weird sexual tricks, although DP and good irrumatio and pukefucking and spanking and face-slapping definitely capture my attention more readily than most, and managing to time your orgasms shows some real skill and dedication, which I respect (see also: Catching the Unicorn, may not be posted yet; see also: Craftsmanship Fetish, probably also not up yet.) but sometimes scenes that I looked at in a quick glance at the thumbnails, and then looked at for the thirty-second check, totally surprised me. There was a sexy connected feeling, and they made some hot fuck. And so I've got a folder of the ones that WORK, the ones that each tells a story where the story is the FUCK IS HOT, and the partners are into the fuck, and the top is into the bottom, and the bottom is into whatever the top says, Sir, Yes, SIR!, and it just clicks. And if I didn't trawl through "Hmm... this guy was a bum fuck three videos in a row." or "What a bizarre name, I wonder if that's some sort of weird sissy fem-dom," I would have totally missed the one that's likely to get me off tonight.

Awww... dude, you're the recipient/first victim/sounding board for tonight's ramble, but you logged off before I could cum in your brain.

I'll leave it like it is for now, maybe I'll edit in the morning. 
Somewhat odd - sober me is often unable to properly edit stoned me. I can, if I'm careful, but if I try to restructure, or add another paragraph, it's often difficult to get the tone right. 

ADDENDUM: 

So, I kinda *stayed* stoned. It's a Friday night, I have nothing else that needs doing, so I'll write and play with my dick. And watch rough, transgressive pornography. The more likely it is to have people's faces hidden, or a notice at the beginning explaining that all this is a fantasy and should not be attempted by anyone who isn't a professional like these actors....the more likely I am to get hard for it. There's some stuff that does go over my edge (see also: Sexy is a Thin Layer, not yet posted) but a lot of stuff... I like the intense stuff, because it looks like the people who do it, are doing it because they're into it. 

The more I think about it... the more I realize that the stuff that makes me hottest in porn, always has the appearance of force. Of nonconsent. Of people being pushed up to their limits or beyond their comfort zone. I don't have the bandwidth for another whole rant tonight... but that will be one later. But it's a hand on the back of the skull, hold-him-down thing.

and I don't know if it's reeeeaaaaally force... it's what they want. But the APPEARANCE of force. FUCK it's just like a boner, it comes up and you've just gotta... fuck, I'll make this one quick and dirty. Guys I like, get into the appearance, the play, of being forced. Held down. Choked. Slapped around. Slapped hard. Beaten with a belt. Punched. I'm not joking. And there's a genuineness to that connection that is impossible to fake.

You can pretend with a lot of things that go on in porn... and they do... but you don't see a lot of badly faked rough sex. If somebody gets slapped across the ass several times hard enough to leave a mark, there's almost always some intensity in the scene. You don't hit somebody like that without some power exchange going on. Some Dom/sub tension, some sadism and masochism.

And it's partly the domination/submission, and it's partly surrendering control, and it's partly allowing themselves to be weak, and it's a trust thing, and they turn their pleasure and their pain over to me... and I hurt them. I'm rough with them. And I make them cum, often even before I do, because I lean hard into the buttons that make them light up like fireworks, the things that make them shiver, and I've got time and there are lots of boys at the party and being "That Dom Top guy who fucked the cum out of me and made my whole body shake all over" is plenty. But for now... I've gotta go finish the business in hand and go to bed.

But if you find the scene where Charlie Cherry fucks Austin Avery... look for the hand on the back of the head... and then the leg over the head. That one is always a winner.

I feel like an old man who keeps walking back into the room shaking his fist, "AND ANOTHER THING..." but this is kind of important... I keep seeing guys who are going for time on the deepthroat, like they're trying to keep that cock deep in the throat for longest. I applaud this, and I respect, and admire, and vigorously sodomize the boys I meet who can do it. It's not new in porn, but the density of the trope seems novel. They're clearly making a point of it; sometimes there's counting, sometimes it's just a camera closeup as we watch the bottom's face, from the side usually, so you can clearly visualize just how far down the esophagus that dick just WENT, and you can see that the bottom has to give up and pull off eventually because he has to breathe. It's Air Hunger

And I have not seen ONE of these boys yet, who has done his Wim Hof breathing. Hyperventilating drives off carbon dioxide in the blood. Lack of oxygen isn't the signal that triggers the reflex to breathe (which will then trigger the reflex to gag and retch, if your esophagus is entirely full of penis) - it's elevated levels of CO2, as measured in levels of acidity. So you take several (ten is good, twenty is better) deep, fast breaths - and you can go for a minute, a minute and a half, easy. I'm just surprised, with the interconnectedness of sex worker communities, porn communities, yoga and massage and bodywork... that nobody has said, "Hey... my brother does this thing where he breathes really fast, and then he doesn't breathe for three minutes at a time, in the mornings. Is that like what your friend's doing?" Or, honestly, I'm surprised that some hot yoga guy hasn't ended up in PornHub videos doing breath holds for three minutes with a cock pounding his throat. It just seems like these worlds would overlap. 

I mean, I'm not expecting to watch somebody doing a full round of deep breaths, but if you know what you're doing, you can do it while you're slobbering on my cock. It looks like panting. You just deliberately hyperventilate, and you can then stop breathing for, say, a minute if you want to. I like to do it when I'm fucking. You get less time if you're fucking hard or moving around vigorously, of course, because you're metabolically active, but if you're doing something like throat-fucking a bottom, where it's more precision and control than muscular athleticism, you get a surprising amount. Anyway - I do it because it makes little sparks go off all over my skin, and it makes me feel super-alive like I've slammed a RedBull, because it pushes a surge of epinephrine and acetylcholine, and I've taught some of my bottom partners just the basics in the process of opening up their throats, and fuck, y'all, it's a useful skill, cocksuckers should KNOW these things! Tell your whore friends. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tybOi4hjZFQ

Really, this blog is a ministry of education. That's what it is. I want people to know about all this amazing shit, because it's AMAZING, and some of it they just don't appear to have a clue. I mean, if you're making a big point of going for time in an underwater swim race, you learn to hyperventilate. I learned it when I was six. Your coach will probably tell you you're loading your blood with oxygen, because your coach was probably taught that when she was in school, way before she realized that she really wasn't going to be happy married to Tim... but it's the CO2 that's at issue. It's being able to burn further without feeling so much air hunger that you panic. You can train your air hunger, you can game it, but if you can manage your CO2, you have an unfair advantage. Watch swimmers - they're panting. They're often panting BEFORE they race. So if you see me panting when I'm fucking - that's what I'm doing. Either that, or I'm old and out of shape and out of breath, and these twenty-five year olds need a lot of fucking. Please note: I'm also smiling like a wolf. 

And then if you want to get into the metabolic, physiological, and hormonal benefits of intermittent hypoxia, look up Andrew Huberman, because he has a lot about it, but I don't have the mental bandwidth at the moment to dig it all up. But the main reason we're focusing on here, is (1) it feels fucking amazing, like poppers kind of, and (2) your bottom can take a throatfull of dick for a fucking clock minute, once they know what they're doing. I really want to get somebody who will practice this and make a little movie with me. 

OK. So... this time I know it's the last time I'm metaphorically walking back in here like I forgot where I put my glasses (it's almost always 'they're on your head') - and I know this for sure, because I shot a load waaay up over my shoulder, which breaks the spell and allows me to stop writing and go the fuck to sleep, and I'm gonna tell you why. When it was getting right up to the end, just about to shoot, he buries his cock all the way into the bottom's throat, and tells the bottom to swallow it. The bottom proceeds to make a repetitive shallow swallowing motion, and we can hear a little odd semi-vocal squeaking sound kind of like a baby suckling as he does it... and you can see his larynx moving up and down, as it milks the top's glans. Another NOTE TO SELF: IS THERE AN APP FOR THESE BOYS?