The evening starts with this tall muscular guy who messaged me on Grindr. He told me he's married to a woman, and that she doesn't know. I always take this kind of conversation with a grain of salt - "I'm married to a woman/this is my first time/I'm straight, but I'm really curious/I'm famous in my home country/I've spent six years in prison and I just got out today" type comments are often genuine, but also often manufactured as part of a fantasy the guy is wanting to live out. In my mind, it's not my business whether it's real - or whether there is a partner in a guy's life, real or imaginary, disclosed or hidden. It's an understanding that frames the encounter we'll have, an aspect of how the play will be managed. It's character notes for our dramatis personae . I don't get involved in any sort of judgment on other people's commitments and relationships; I know that I've had frank discussions with my own husba