Going Deeper (Inside Strange Men)

 Tonight starts out with a hot guy I have talked to before, but haven't ever really played with. He's dark blond, probably mid-forties, and handsome with the kind of smile that says he probably is used to getting along with almost everybody he meets. He's charming. I tell him my name; he says to call him Steve. We meet in the sauna, and there are a bunch of guys; some are stroking their dicks, a couple are sucking. I tell Steve that it's good to see him again; he tells me that he's been reading my blog, which kind of fascinates me - because it means he knows all the stuff that I'm interested in, and he's read up about several things he's never tried - deepthroat, slime, gagging. I like this - a hottie who's done the homework. Previously, he's always seemed a little stand-offish - like he would see some action starting in the maze, and he'd drift away like he didn't want to get involved. Tonight, though, he seems a lot more friendly. I off...

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The evening starts with this tall muscular guy who messaged me on Grindr. He told me he's married to a woman, and that she doesn't know. I always take this kind of conversation with a grain of salt - "I'm married to a woman/this is my first time/I'm straight, but I'm really curious/I'm famous in my home country/I've spent six years in prison and I just got out today" type comments are often genuine, but also often manufactured as part of a fantasy the guy is wanting to live out. In my mind, it's not my business whether it's real - or whether there is a partner in a guy's life, real or imaginary, disclosed or hidden. It's an understanding that frames the encounter we'll have, an aspect of how the play will be managed. It's character notes for our dramatis personae . I don't get involved in any sort of judgment on other people's commitments and relationships; I know that I've had frank discussions with my own husba...

Who else loved the darkly erotic Depeche Mode song, Master and Servant ? This was the kinky sex music of the eighties. I have fucked to this song, and Nine Inch Nails, and others.  CAUTION: This entry has race play in it. A lot. I have really complicated feelings about race play, and I explain a lot of them through the course of this entry... but if that's a thing that bothers you, just skip this one. It's kind of like how racism is baked into American history, especially in the South - this whole entry has too much race play in it to just skip this bit.  I do my best not to be racist in my personal life. In the same way that I wouldn't take my paddle and start smacking people standing in a convenience store line, I'm not going to pop out the racist epithets unless it's an occasion where I'm using it like that paddle - n a carefully constructed and managed consent-based experience, with frequent check-ins.  In the material that I'm posting, there's one ...