Aye; Eye, Sir.

This whole blog originated as me getting stoned and thinking weird bizarre twisted horny thoughts, and then texting them to like-minded pervert buddies, who would usually just watch this bullshit spool out, because I typed them all in bursts of long text bubbles, and sometimes with pictures or videos or links. Then, I realized this was becoming more memoir than random ramblings, and started making the writing of it more formal... but late-night horny stoned texting is still my creative sandbox. This entry started out as one of those bursts of text. 

I've had a fetish for a while now, that I only very rarely catch a glimpse of in porn: cum in guys' eyes. More specifically, and the version you pretty much never see: cum deliberately shot directly into a guy's held-open eye. 

I first ran across it a few years ago in some internet porn, and then I found a whole Twitter dedicated to it called @yeah_eye - it's since been banned, unfortunately. There were some hot guys who were clearly into it, and I got turned on so hard. I ejaculated to a variety of scenes with this fetish, although there had to be more going on - I wasn't into a four-second clip just showing a dick spurting across a guy's face where a little got into his eyes; I loved scenes where guys had a clear and intense connection, and looking with open or even held-open eyes while the top ejaculates, seemed like an powerful and deeply devoted level of submission. I watched it knowing that on a biological level the sperm will bury their little spear-like heads in his cornea and conjunctiva while his various immune systems go to war with all the foreign DNA, and he'll be walking around with that man's seed literally clouding his vision until his tears and his immune system clear them out, and his eyes will look like he's got conjunctivitis for at least most of the day if he doesn't get them rinsed out pretty soon, which he'd better fucking NOT. 

Aside: I've never actually seen the climactic moment in this scene. I haven't run across it anywhere, and I haven't felt like signing up for a whole porn site for a single video. It may end up happening at some point. But when Julian's about to cum, he makes Joel kneel down and hold his eye open, and he squirts in his eye. It's clear from the trailer. I want to to be Julian so, SO much. I will be making this happen. If you're a hot DFW-adjacent guy, and you think we'd click and you want to be Joel, you should get in touch: rubmybutch@gmail.com.  

Yeah... you see where THAT goes. It's the same thing as squirting my seed down a bottom's throat direct so that he doesn't have the option to spit it out. It's impregnating him in a very intimate way, violating him on a cellular level. My dick is SO HARD typing this out. You can understand why I was sad when Beau said I almost jizzed in his eye. Every man he would have looked at for the rest of the night, he would have been literally looking THROUGH my cum. My DNA would have been in his tears. I think like this, kind of poetic but twisted. It makes me very, very weird, but it makes me a GOOD fuck. I don't aim for the eyes, I'm not an asshole, but if somebody's giving me good throat, and I want to splash a little on his face just to show off how much I've appreciated his service before I thrust back in and deposit the rest of the load all the way down his gullet... and some gets in his eye, I'm going to think about how open the capillary beds in the conjunctiva are. How the protein fractions in the seminal fluid are probably seeping into his bloodstream. I'm IN You, fucker. Of course, the seed and all of the seminal fluid secretions in his belly gets digested and literally turned into more of his actual body - my protein rebuilt into his muscle - my intimate little gift is part of cells across his body by now; my little soldiers have been disassembled and recommissioned to be parts of Beau. It's the only way I know that it's both painless and legal to eat part of another man, unless you're going to get really weird and file skin off him or something. I mean, I like chewing on the bits from the corner of my cuticles, but it's just the thick texture of the skin. I used to bite them, and manicuring gives me a way keep them really, really neat without losing the tactile sensation of playing with my fingernails. Learn to stim the way you want to stim for the life you want to live, my autistic weirdos. Also, can't put rough hands inside a good boy. 

Sorry, that went weird. I'm debating whether to trim out about half that last paragraph, because I was trying to think, IS there any other way that you can literally get your DNA forcibly into another man, that isn't really violent or especially gross? When I finger-banged and sucked a load out of the beautiful boy my Husband and I had spent a rushed but delightful half hour fucking at both ends in pretty much every available combination a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking about the almost shamanic aspect of swallowing his seed, taking him into my body, then kissing my husband with the cum on my tongue so that we both swallowed him - and then we sent him on his merry way and went out to dinner with friends and bragged about the beautiful SMOKING hot young athlete who had given us both such pleasure, and his DNA mixed with our margaritas and he's part of us both. I don't think of myself as a load collector in the sense of wanting to get as much cum as possible... I'm pretty picky, to be honest, about whose cum I swallow or take in the ass, but I do like cum that feels powerful and significant like this. I like to get the cum of guys when I have a particular kind of strong connection, and likewise I like to give mine to guys I have a strong connection with. Sometimes it's not even possible for me to ejaculate if I don't get my head in just the right place. I can still fuck, and as long as it's still fun, I keep going, but there are occasional nights where I have my mind on other things, or I'm focusing on some specific fetish, and I don't end up getting off at all. 

ANYWAY. Cum in the eye. I don't remember where I was looking around porny stuff the other night, but I ran across this gem. It has that just-right energy... like that guy is doing it because he wants to, and he's happy, and he's so fully in submission. It's just HOT to me. He gives some really good gagging spit-bubble deepthroat leading up to it, and then he looks up at the top and smiles as the cock shoots right in his eye. 

I came SO HARD... and I was thinking, "Yeah... but that could have been done SO much better... it's about the camera angle, you need to zoom in, so that you can have the cameraman at enough distance to not interfere with the action, and you really need to pull the lid forward, so that the spurts of semen bulge out the upper eyelid, and it squirts from the corners of the eye, like you're administering medication..." - and I think through two scenarios... one is my husband getting pissed off at me because someone tells him that I'm suddenly famous for a really bizarre niche porno, and the other, is somehow giving some poor boy a rare allergic semen reaction of the cornea or something, and I find myself thinking, "If you are wondering if you need a consulting ophthalmologist for a kinky fantasy video idea, you are probably taking it too far."

For some reason, I kind of mentally differentiate between "got a little cum in your eye" and "shot cum directly in your eye" and "lifted your eyelid and filled your ocular cavity like a Bavarian creme donut." I want to do #3. Or #2. 

And then, I found THIS.

At first, I thought, "Ok, a woman, not what I really want,"

But then I decided, you know, it's an EYE... I'll watch and see what happens... OMG. The attack and retreat. The gripping and regripping of the eyelid. The DIALOGUE! I think this is one of the most twisted BDSM videos I've seen - because it seems like it purports to be a five-minute video of someone being dominated by a dude cumming in her eye... but DAMN ME, it's someone being dominated by being MADE TO BEG for cum in her eye, which she was continually threatened with over the course of five minutes, along with having her eyeball repeatedly cock-nuzzled. Just watch it. Turn the volume up. If you search for more of the genre, it's definitely not alone. Some of them seem almost designed to induce pinkeye, like this cinematic delight, entitled "Fuck my dirty asshole and rub it into my eye until you clean out my eye with your cum". And, um... OSHA? Health and Safety? I guess he DOES clean out her eye with his cum, so perhaps that gets rid of all the bacteria and fecal microbes. Do they put her on antibiotics beforehand? This far... I am not interested in going. This has punched through the thin layer of what I find sexy, and goes into gross for me. I could not get hard watching it. I realize that this ENTIRE conversation, goes right into gross for a lot of guys, quite possibly most guys. What I want is THIS, but with a hot dude who'll let me make a video of it, and ideally someone else who'll hold the camera so I don't have to. FUCK, watch it squirt, again and again, filling her whole eye. And then he moves it around with his finger to get it in BOTH eyes. DAMN. Oh... this video producer specializes... y'all look at THIS one too. I love this one. There's also a creative competitive streak in me... in the same way that I was so fucking delighted to one-up a lot of choking porn by capturing a really hot choke-drop-fuck-PADDLE sequence... the thing that would make this complete, is either or both of two things: 1) the top thrusting immediately and deeply back into the bottom's throat, and holding it there until the bottom panics from air hunger, or 2) (preferably after 1) the bottom freaking out and writhing in apparent agony and saying things like, "OMG, Jesus, fuck! You didn't say it was going to BURN like this, Holy Hell, get these cuffs off me! I need to go wash my eyes out! Hey... HEY! You can't just LEAVE ME HERE" and a hand stuffs a sock in his mouth and then the lights go out. 

This is one of those that's transgressive enough that I'd want to catch a bit at the beginning where we discuss consensual nonconsent, and that goes on the website along with it, because I don't need anybody claiming I didn't get informed consent. 

What eventually got my load for this evening's JO session though, was this one... and it's JUST on that line where it's so intense that I'm not sure how I feel about it. Is it too much? Is it crazy hot? Where is it relative to the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal? Did you know you can buy those eye speculums on Amazon? 

I've also thought about deliberately shooting it straight up one nostril.

You look on the gay side for cum in the nose, and you see facials, occasionally where someone gets a little bit of cum up his nose. You mostly find things that are oddly mislabeled things like "gay cum snorting," as if they realized that search results were hitting for this search term, and they wanted those hits, but the video isn't that at all. And, unfortunately, if you look for gay cum snorting, you find a lot of meth and cocaine, sometimes being creatively snorted off a cock. You look on the straight side... you see women using dicks like Neti pots.

WHY ARE THE GAYS SO BEHIND ON THIS ONE?? Surely we are as perverted as the straights, right?

Does this burn, when you snort it up your nose, like it does in the eyes? I kind of want for it to. I want for it to sting for a few minutes, and give him a stuffy nose that lasts half a day, and every time he sniffs, he's sucking my genetic material down into his airways. I want to be inside him. This is another thing, now that I've seen it, that I want to do and get somebody to let me do to him on video. I want to explain it, narrate it as I do it to you. Come on, step up my hot gay pervy boys... let Daddy plant his seed in your head the weird way. Let me fuck you in the brain.