Sexy Is a Thin Layer

You know that thing, where if you go too far, it's NOT sexy? Like the sexy exists in a very specific thin layer; if you don't go hard enough, it tickles; you push too hard, it just hurts....

I was looking at videos. And I thought.... let me look at filters for puke. Because these guys who had fucked a dude until he puked around their dick... it made me SO hard. And, unsurprisingly, there was some stuff that totally turned me on. 

And then, I looked at ThisVid, which often has a lot of stuff that aligns to my interests. A submissive buddy of mine has an account there, and he gave me his login, because of course what's his is mine, he's that kind of boy... so we share hot videos by putting them on his favorites. And I noticed that when you filter on ThisVid, there are OPTIONS on what your results come out as. They are: 

Straight
Straight (Extreme)
Gay
Gay (Extreme)

and I thought, "Hell, yeah! I'm all extreme and macho and all that... give me that Extra Spicy."

And... I did not want the Gay (Extreme.)

As a friend of mine says, "There is not enough no-thank-you in the world."

Have you heard "The College Try" by Garfunkel and Oates? A girl gives Lesbianism a try during college - making out was fine, she was all excited about feeling her up, but then when confronted by the actual tuna taco, she suddenly realized that she was NOT bisexual. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn8Er6AFT1k

So, my reaction to the results page, was like that girl's reaction... you have to watch the video, but... I won't recommend you going to ThisVid and looking at search results for puke and using the Gay (Extreme) filter. I mean, you do you. It was guys eating, and puking up, and being totally covered with, shit. Feces. I totally get it... I can see why those extreme search results end up in the same search field, and a lot of people are into those things together as gross and/or demeaning body stuff, and yeah, there was puking going on there, but OMG, it was NOT the hot sexy throat-fucking clear-slime puking I wanted. No, No, no thank you, NO, Nein, Nyet, Nicht. And As I'm thinking that, I think, "Am I yucking somebody's yum?" Because that's literally the most disgusting thing that I can imagine; it turns me off in a very visceral way. I have real difficulty picturing the turn-on for people into scat being compatible with a healthy mental state. And I have talked to scat fetishists, and I've heard the arguments about why it's hot for them, and it's mostly a matter of submitting to something so disgusting that their body revolts, but they do it for their Dom - but no. Not for me, you won't. I can try to ignore the smell of a little bit of shit if I'm fucking someone and things get a little messy... I'm a big guy, and I deliberately, aggressively go in deep. If there's some uncertainty, I will counsel my bottom to stop worrying about it, stop checking and stressing, and just stay on my dick until I'm done fucking, don't pull off it, and we'll shower afterward. But if there's honest-to-god shit on my dick that I'm fucking like a fudgy tunnel, and when I'm stroking in and out, my dick is visibly brown and I can't stop smelling it... no. Shower, now, bad boy, clean out better than this. I refuse to apologize for my dick; if you know you're not ready for deep-dicking, don't spread your legs. I'm nicer than this in real life, but that's going on in the back of my mind. I know the bottom is mortified, and I explain to him that I unfortunately do this to guys (it happens a LOT more than I wish it would... maybe one fuck out of four? Maybe it's five if I'm lucky) (see also: Big Dick Privilege / Big Dick Problems) and I know that I've usually ruined his night as far as further buttsex adventures, and that sucks for both of us. Because usually by the time I open him up enough to pass through the rectosigmoid junction and hit the part where he hasn't gotten cleaned out properly, he's allowing me to do the things to him that make my penis VERY HAPPY, and now I have to stop and go clean the shit off my dick. And it's surprisingly difficult to get that smell off me. And I don't feel great about making some other boy take it in his mouth, if I can't get it to where I feel like it smells OK. There's a huge, HUGE difference between "smells like ass" and "smells like shit." 

And the actual vomit-y part of vomit is the same for me. For the puke-on-my-dick-boy thing to be hot FOR ME, it's got to not smell like half-digested food, and it's got to be only slick clear fluid. It's not actual vomit, it's a mucus release in the throat more than anything... but usually after the stomach is fully empty. Or emptied, with a shower and another round with water after, preferably. I emptied a guy in the shower at the baths last week. Not a lot, probably not entirely... but he squatted astride my thighs and held on as I fucked his throat until he puked into the drain a few times, then we washed off. The crowd response was... CONFLICTED. The looks of queenly prim horror were VERY firmly admixed with the looks of outright carnal lust and a strong desire to take either my place or my boy's.

And I think the conflicted part fed my ego more than the guys who were just hot for me. I wanted to fuck the guys who were making that twisted up face. I was hurting them in a way that made them feel both good and bad, without even touching them. And I thought, "You know... it's not that far from here, to not being disgusted when that guy kissed you with actual barf on his lips because you had throat-fucked him so much he had puked all down his chest and your thighs, and you both laughed and realized that a shower was in order before any post-orgasmic makeout." It's not far, but there's a LINE. 

He was the one that I told "I haven't ever done that to anyone in my life. I didn't know I would find it that hot, until we did it. HOLY FUCK that was hot." But fucking right into his throat as he's actually barfing - not much, he was a good boy and skipped lunch, and there wasn't any significant food, but he hadn't done like a cleanse with water and deliberate emesis, because why would he? He didn't have any idea somebody was going to be giving him penile gastric lavage at the bath house.  So there was a little bit of acidic stuff and a few bits. The guy who let me empty his belly in the shower was a DIFFERENT guy. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM? Are there that many sweet and seriously-submissive puke-able boys hanging around Dallas, that I just run into them one after another? I keep feeling like I have somehow ended up in a Dom-top fantasy scene where I was fantasizing about a particular really intensely bizarre thing, and then the screen kind of sparkles and ripples and you know that I've fallen asleep, and then hot guys one after another show up and throw themselves at my dick to do the exact hot thing I was fantasizing about, TO me, for as long as I want. So, whatever fantasy alternate universe I've fallen into, I'm down to stay in it for a while, because FUCK I'm enjoying it, and I can't wait for whatever twisted fantastic thing captures my perverted attention next.

And I thought... I wonder how many other things there are (Extreme) versions of? I wonder what they are? A quick scan of several topics that sprung to mind, seem to imply that (Extreme) in any of the gay video topic searches, means "With shit." And that goes right past sexy for me, through the thin layer and right out the other side. No, no thank you, Nein, nyet, abso-shit-fucking-lutely not.