This gives a whole new meaning to "Woof."

I started out this evening with a bit of a let-down. Cue sad trombone, womp-womp. I'm not even going to give him a name; a hot guy that my Husband and I had played with back before the Pandemic checked in immediately before I did, and I was hoping I'd get to play with him again. He gently but quite firmly turned me down, and I felt sad and old and a little ego-crushed. I could see the yawning chasm open in front of me, leading downward toward a depressive spiral; there was definitely an option for my mood to tank, but I decided I would do my best to pick it back up and make the best of it. I'm glad I did; it turned out to be an awesome night. Or, rather, I MADE it an awesome night; I chose to have a wonderful time. And, as so often happens lately when I decide that things are going to be wonderful, the Universe provides... and hot boys threw themselves at my dick all night long. 

HENRY: I had the pleasure of playing with Henry back in the fall of last year, when I was just starting to think my way through all this hot sexy weirdness that has been such an amazing revelation for me. Back then, I was getting a little high on THC and sending buddies of mine what I called my "Stoner Sex Thoughts" in text messages, and then copying them into emails so I'd have some kind of searchable record. It was before I had even thought of the blog, so I hadn't asked anyone for permission - I was just making a journal of my own experience. I run into Henry in the sauna, and after confirming that he is indeed who I think he is (it's been most of a year, and I've never been good at faces and names, and now he's wearing a hat) I tell him about the blog, about how much my experience has expanded and my confidence has grown, and I ask him for consent to publish my story about our connection. He says yes. I ask for another round, and he explains that he's willing, but it will need to be later in the evening. So, rather than rewrite and reorganize, here's my record from before. I love how excited-yet-hesitant I feel in this writing; I am figuring things out, but I'm still just a little scared of what I'm trying to do, like I don't feel confident or secure yet: 

You know how sometimes you have a fantasy about some weirdly specific sex thing, and you haven't seen it happen, and maybe you've been hesitant to try it on a real person yourself yet, and you've never seen it in porn that you remember, but you would LOVE to see it.... And so you look at compilations that might include it...

This thing I've been seeing in my imagination: A bottom is kneeling in front of his top. He's not so much sucking dick, as he is getting railed in the throat. Hard and deep. The top is holding him by the skull, one hand on the crown and one on the jaw, the better to manage his angles and thoroughly plunge his gullet. 

Occasionally he gags, but it doesn't interfere with his devoted service to the cock in his esophagus. The top ignores the gagging except to smile and occasionally comment about how amazing it feels on his cock. When the top is ready to cum, he pulls out his cock just enough to splash a spurt across the bottom's face, to show it off, and then he plunges it back in, full depth, and continues to unload. The bottom gags and struggles with the deep insertion, and his body bucks like he's going to puke. The top holds him by the skull and tells him, "Don't go bringing that back up, I put it where I wanted it to go." The bottom regains his control and submits, and the top praises him as he withdraws his softening cock. 

So I got to play it out in real life, last week at the bath house. It was as awesome as I imagined. I felt like a sex god. He took it like a champ. At one point when I pulled my dick out of the depths of his throat, I could smell the light but definite coppery tang of blood from the rough treatment his throat was getting. He told me that a Daddy like me was probably looking to breed some young boy holes, and he understood that I wouldn't give him my seed... But I felt that the superlative level of service he was providing to my penis deserved the load, and I said so as I put my cock back in him and continued thrusting. I made sure he didn't even have to swallow. Or have a choice to spit. 

And then I find a version (less gagging, no talking, but the same spurt-and insert with hard thrusting theme) in a porn video.

This is from a video called Drunk on Cum 6: Hard Training from Treasure Island. 

https://porngays.xxx/videos/1551694/hard-training/

Multiple guys do it to the same bottom. And it makes me wonder : is this a sexual meme? Did these guys start doing it because one of them did it and the others liked it and it traveled virally between them? Is it traveling to other guys who see it in the video? 

Did I pass it along to that guy at the baths? I so wish we had done that in the middle of the maze instead of in his private room... Because now he'll be wanting that again but he won't feel confident in asking a top for it because it sounds so weird and transgressive and borderline rapey, but he loved it as much as I did. And there won't be the guy watching us and jerking his dick who would have  thought, "Holy fuck, that's hot, I think I'll try that on the next submissive cocksucker who deserves my nut!" and then later would have found the same sexy cocksucker I had, and thought "Fuck YES, it's that guy who did that super hot thing, I want to fuck his throat like that." And then my little personal pervy sex meme would pass along to the next iteration, and I would have done my hot bottom a solid by inspiring another  top to sodomize his throat. 

AND - what I want to do now, is get this on video. I want to find a guy who's hot and also patient and kinky and into it, and will let me fuck him in the throat, cum in his mouth on camera, shove it in his throat, and hold it there while I explain as he splutters and gags, how fucking HOT I find it to override his choice, to dominate his basic biology by depositing my semen directly into his stomach and bypassing his option to swallow. Any takers?

LANCE: Lance wanders by. I introduce him to Henry; we hang out for a little bit, just being companionable. We walk around, and stand for a while in the video room. I put him on his knees and fuck his throat, mostly showing off for the guys who sit and stroke to the video. I'm always watching to see who's going to watch us more than the video. We walk some more, and then go outside. I take him to one of the cabanas and fold up his towel and set him to kneel on it so that I can fuck his throat here, with the sun on my shoulders and the wind touching me all over. After a while, I realize that there are streaks of blood on my cock. He's bitten his lip, but he says he's fine and wants to keep going. He says my dick makes everything better, that it's worth it to suck my cock. I get one of the guys lounging in the pool to shoot some video for me. I spank him, fuck his throat and his ass, slap his taint and his hole and his balls. Exploring sensation play with Lance has been fun - he's wide-open to try anything, and he trusts me completely, but he's not very experienced - so I get to teach him things, and each time there's something new. This time, it's slapping his balls; his reaction is "I like it, but I don't know why I like it." I also spend some time leading him around by them - gripping his scrotum in my fingers like a cluster of grapes I'm considering plucking, forcing him onto his toes to keep up with me. I highly recommend this as a fun way to lead a submissive boy around. 

What I'm saying here: "I love when boys will do it to themselves. A boy who will can gag HIMSELF on your dick, is a very, very devoted Good Boy." 

BAXTER. I've seen the occasional guy in a pup mask at the Club. Usually they're in small groups of two to four, hanging out together; once there was a whole convention, and they practically took over the place. I know several guys who have pup personas, and I've been known to scratch them behind the ears or on the chest when I see them at a bar or a party, regardless of whether they're wearing the hood, because WHO's a good boy? YOU are! It's a fun role to lean into. It's very pure-spirited and open-hearted; pups are not complicated, moody, grumpy, or difficult to understand. They want affection, play, treats, and scritches, and if you can make the leg bounce thing happen and the tongue loll out, they're golden. They might hump your leg or sniff your crotch, which are all bonuses in my book. 

I haven't played with pups in the sense of going to a pup mosh or a play party, and I haven't had a sex experience with a pup in his gear, but the pup headspace is a thing I have at least a passing exposure to. So when I see this hot guy wandering around in the maze all by himself in a black Doberman mask, I'm intrigued - I don't know what's possible with him as far as play, and I don't know what he's into, but I'm interested in finding out. He's got a sexy body - compact, muscular, with broad shoulders, sloping pecs, smooth golden brown skin. He's quite a bit smaller than me, which I like. He's not slick-smooth or shaved, but his body hair is short and close in color to his skin - maybe he's blond, or maybe he's just tan enough that it doesn't show strongly. I reach out and rub his chest and he stops. I scratch him under the chin; he plays with my chest a little, and then reaches down and strokes my cock. He bends down, pulling up the chin of his mask, and takes my cock into his mouth, tasting it. I push into his mouth, and the nose of the dog mask deforms against my crotch.  We're blocking traffic in a section of the maze, so I take him to a spot with section of upright bars - almost like the corner of a jail cell with a padded bench, where we can be on display but out of the way, and I can explore him a little more thoroughly. Henry walks up, and I share Baxter's mouth with him for a bit, which they both seem to enjoy. 

I take Baxter's towel from him and put it on the bars, revealing a spectacular round pale ass. I lean forward and ask him if I can spank it. He says, "Jeez, man, I just wanted to wear the mask; I'm not really into all of that..." I explain to him that it's not a pup thing, I ask everybody if I can spank them, it's a thing I enjoy. A lot of guys want me to spank them, or at least are willing to let me spank them because I want to. He asks me not to, and I don't, because I'm a CONSENT-BASED DOM TOP, and not an asshole, and also because I get the distinct impression that this man is not at home in his pup identity here - he's in a masquerade mask. There is no dog-like quality other than the fact that his head looks like a dog's head. He feels like he's skating over thin ice, a little. I take some lube and start fingering him open, working it into his hole. He's tight. He tells me he's only been fucked about thirty times; the number seems oddly specific. I wonder if next time it will be thirty-one... or thirty-five, because I definitely fucked him at least that many times over the course of the evening. Do you count the fuckER, or the fuckINGS? ANYWAY. The way he says it makes it feel like this is a definite departure from the ordinary for him - he's putting on the pup hood and trying something he would normally not feel comfortable doing, stretching his boundaries, but he could be walking around wearing a luchador mask instead. He's not a pup; he's an anonymous hot-bodied man taking a holiday from being his ordinary self. I'm not mad about this either; I'll be your fantasy rough top, yes, I will. I rub my cock against his hole, continuing to open him, and slowly entering him, rocking gently back and forth to help him relax. He holds the bars, shaking his head, the ears of the dog mask flapping. It feels so strange, to not be able to gauge his response by looking at his face, but I've got all the visual stimulation of his beautiful tight body laid out in front of me, and I can see my cock disappearing into his pale muscular ass. It's definitely working for me. He groans like a man; he doesn't whimper like a dog. The mask distorts the sound. 

I tell him that if he wants, we can go to my room - we can play with the door open, or close it if he wants more privacy, if he feels like he needs that security. He agrees, and we go. I have a thought that he might want to take the mask off, but that's up to him. I'm up for enjoying what Keats calls the "Negative Capability" - “being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” It's a mental trip. 

I ask if he will let me take pictures; he doesn't want that, but he does agree to let me write about our experience. Once we get to the room, and he's on top of me, riding my cock, he looks at me - his eyes quizzical in the neoprene dog face, and says, "Hey! I know you, you're" and then he says my given name. Apparently we've known one another for over twenty years, and he's just figured out who I am. I laugh out loud... and I resist, just barely, the urge to try to pull the hood off of him. This amuses him immensely, and for the next twenty minutes or so, as I fuck him in a variety of positions, we talk about how the mystery adds a tension, a little extra energy to the whole situation. He's got to be close to my age; he's got a gym body, but I can see that he's got the marks of sun and time and gravity in spite of his careful maintenance. His shoulders are broad with notches where the trapezius joins the deltoids, and the dog mask is masculine and boxy, making his face look butch and slightly sinister. The picture isn't him, but that's the right model of mask, I think. It looks just like him. 

I tell him about the blog, about the things I've done here at the bath house with various guys. Lance shows up, walking in the open door, and we talk about how he likes to be hit, spanked, choked, and gagged, about how the intense sensation isn't so much painful as exhilarating, about how it makes his body tingle all over. Baxter tells me about having watched a MuscleBearPorn video where a guy gets choked out, but he didn't know it was a real thing; he thinks it's an act, or that it's some kind of trick. I ask if he wants to see it done, and he agrees that he does. 

I have Lance sit up, and we demonstrate for him while he holds the camera. He gets a little excited and the camera wobbles, but we get it on video. You can hear me ask him to hold still; you can hear the energy in his voice as he talks about what he's seeing.  I had wanted to redo this explainer, because previously Lance had started out slumped leaning into me, and you couldn't see the drop. Baxter is fascinated by the drool, by how clearly out of things Lance is, and how he comes back. I keep listening to his voice, the cadence of his speech, trying to figure out who he is; I smell his body, his hair, trying to get a clue, but he's coy and rebuffs my inquiries. I know that this mask is a simple one that I could snatch off his head with a quick grab; it's a fun game that we're playing, and I'm not going to give in spoil it. We break for a while and go shower, but I fuck him again a couple of times during the evening, always with the mask. He even wears it in the pool. I still have no idea who he is.

RICK: 

I've seen him prowling through the mazes. He's handsome -- a round symmetrical face that looks a little more European than all-American, with sandy light brown/dark blond hair and a rosy complexion, and just enough freckling to show that he gets out in the sun occasionally. For some reason, he looks to me like the kind of guy I would expect to see playing polo or lacrosse - something a little on the fancy side of sporty, the kind of thing you have monogrammed gear for. I walk down a little passageway with curtained cubicles on the left hand side, and stop at the doorway into a room with video screens. He stands next to me; between the two of us, we're pretty close to blocking the doorway. I step back just enough that I'm out of the path of traffic, but still in his way, making a weight in his world - he can't walk on without me moving, or him awkwardly maneuvering to get around me. He looks at me, and reaches out and touches my cock. It swells at the attention. He's rubbing at his own dick through his towel, and then he steps backward, into the little curtained cubicle and out of the path. I step in with him. He pulls the curtain partway closed, although the guys walking by can still get a pretty entertaining view. He pulls off his towel, revealing a very slender cock which swells in my hand almost instantly. I'm used to guys getting longer, but I haven't seen many "grower" guys who get thicker like this; I'm constantly fascinated with the variety and diversity of human anatomy. We stroke each other's cocks, looking straight at each other. I nibble at his neck, his jawline, his ears; he moans and rolls his head. I lean toward him as if for a kiss, but he leans away. I'm OK with this. There are guys who come here who are straight, guys who are still figuring out their sexuality, and guys who just for whatever reason just don't kiss. It spins into a fantasy in my head - I like the "lads being lads together" aspect of jerking one another off; it could be a scene in a locker room anywhere, a bathroom at a boarding school, an office gym sauna after hours. It gets me surprisingly close to orgasm; I can feel the tension starting to build. He's just a shade ahead of me, though - he shudders and groans as he gets his nut, and I hold on to him for a minute while it subsides. I talk to him for a bit about the blog, and ask permission to put him in it. Then... because of the nasty pig of a man I am sometimes - I put him on his knees and fuck his throat some. I don't get off, but I enjoy the rush. First I want him to be the fantasy straight dude who will jerk off with me but won't kiss... then I want to make that fantasy straight dude kneel and open his throat and choke on my cock. This is how my head works. Also, this is how to give me head. Thank you. 

DARIN: He's pale-skinned and slim; definitely Asian, but I don't have any idea where his ancestors hail from aside from "somewhere in East Asia." His black hair is buzzed shorter than mine, and his body is smooth with a dark furry bush. When I walk into the steam room and stand next to one of the walls, he walks up and plays with my left nipple - always a good sign, because I flag left, meaning that I'm presenting myself as a top - and I assume he's playing into this. He leans down and begins to suck on it, a neat technique using his lips and tongue that almost feels like when a baby animal suckles on your finger. He moves eventually to the right one, and then to my cock. After a while, and with a little encouragement from me pushing him down by the shoulders, he puts his towel on the floor and kneels. He lets me fuck into his mouth, but he doesn't seem able to take it full length into his throat. I enjoy this for a while, but then I notice another guy watching. He's standing adjacent to where I'm standing feeding Darin my dick, and appears interested, but doesn't make a move. For some reason, I want to make this connection without speaking or touching him... and I do.

XAND. He's big - he's got to be six-four, maybe six-five, and pale in the dim light. His head is shaved bald, and his skin is gleaming alabaster white all over. His chest is furry, but not intensely so; he's standing against the wall, and I stare at him, having pulled my cock from Darin's mouth and turned to face him. I just look up at him - not speaking, not touching him, just waiting, looking in his eyes. He makes some kind of decision. He kneels. He takes my cock in his mouth, and YES, he lets me fuck his throat. I fuck into him deep and hard, holding him by the skull; I can feel the short stubble of his shaved head. I can feel Darin pinching my nipples and massaging my chest, stroking my body. I hold his cock in my hand, gently stroking. Xand stands up, turning and presenting his ass to me; I lube his hole up and enter him without a lot of difficulty. I start to fuck. I feel Darin pressing his cock, rock hard now, against my ass; I had prepared for this possibility, and I'm into it, but I'm surprised that he's taking the initiative. I'm always happy to see someone have the audacity that I didn't think would. We fuck like this for a while, and it's really good. Darin fucking into me, me fucking into Xand - I'm driving most of the motion, but Darin is definitely getting what he wants as well. I take some poppers, and ride the rush into orgasm.

I can feel Darin's load, slick in my ass.

BRIAN: 

I go and shower, and then walk around. I go outside, and I see Xand sitting in the pool. He's seated on the ledge that runs all the way around one side, so that he's underwater from the waist down, but his torso and head are in the night air. The low light of the outdoor patio makes his translucent pale skin glow even more than it did in the steam room; he must either be a creature of darkness, or he's really rigorous with the sunscreen. There are a few other guys in the pool with him, and they're talking, saying something about how he has to answer questions. I walk up and stand behind him, but he's focused on them and can't see me. There's a funny moment where they mug and pull faces, trying to express by eye-rolling and eyebrow-waggling that "The killer is RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!" and finally he turns and sees me. We laugh, and I step down into the pool and join the conversation. 

The guys explain to me that they've made a rule - new guys in the pool have to either do a handstand, or they have to answer questions. It seems arbitrary, but I'm game. I explain that I'm happy to answer questions - getting me to shut up these days is more of a challenge. One of the guys demonstrates a handstand, his legs jutting upward for half a minute as he balances on his hands on the pool floor, and then he pops upright, spraying water. Just for grins, I dive down and see if I can do the headstand too - it's been a few years, but my form is still decent. We talk about how you have to expel the air to keep from getting water up your nose. Xand says that he's just moved to Dallas - today, in fact, he got his new place. I tell him welcome to the city, and that I hope I've been an appropriate ambassador. One of the guys, an out of towner, asks if this is typical for a Tuesday, and another answers that it's never like this - that people don't talk. I say that it's like this whenever I'm here, if I can possibly help it - I do my best to have an experience here where I have good conversations, good connections, and awesome sex. 

I feel like we as gay men have so much shame and fear and furtiveness associated with our sex, and we feel like we have to do it in secret, and not talk about it. We don't say what we want, we don't tell our partners what we like or don't like, we don't communicate or express ourselves. I have decided FUCK THAT SHIT, and I say it. I say it out loud; I use my normal big strong manly conversational voice. I don't whisper. I tell guys what I like; I tell them they look hot, I say when I want something or when I want someone to stop touching me, or when something feels amazing. I do it for three main reasons. First, I do it for me. It feels liberating - to be able to express my desires, to enforce my boundaries, to share my feelings and let people have some insight into my world of sensation and emotion. Second, I want to model that behavior for other guys - to let them see me doing those things, and hopefully they'll think, "Oh, I can tell him what I want, I can ask that hot guy if I can suck his dick, I can tell that guy to stop touching me there." And third - I want to teach guys things about their bodies and sex. A lot of guys - especially young guys, but even guys my age and older - just don't know. They don't know why it hurts when they get fucked in the ass a certain way, they don't know how to clean out, or how to open their throat for a cock... and you can't learn if nobody will talk about it. So I talk about it. I write the blog about it; I take video where I'm literally talking through it as I go, explaining the mechanism as I'm fucking. To be clear - as we're standing here in the pool, I'm SAYING WITH MY MOUTH the whole preceding paragraph, telling them; this isn't just an aside of me writing it out later. 

I single Brian out of the group; there's something about him that I connect with. He's handsome, Irish-looking, red-headed and solid, a body that is what "stocky" used to be before it was hijacked and used to mean "obese." He's not fat; he's thick and strong, like he's made of pork roast, but it's a healthy muscular little pink piggy. He's covered in curling red hair, with a bright pink butt that I want to spank. I tell him about my experience in the showers giving an anatomy lecture [see also: Anatomy Lesson] and I demonstrate using his cock as I talk. I tell him about my fascination with gingers and how brightly they color up - and he obligingly floats up on his belly, his round pink ass bobbing above the surface of the water so I can get a smack in. It's tricky with the angle - it's almost at shoulder-height, but I do get a decent one, and then he submerges again. We repeat this a time or two, and he's clearly getting turned on. He decides to see if he can stand three on each cheek in rapid fire. I explain about the throat slime that's been such a fascination for me lately, and I offer to demonstrate if he'll sit up on the edge of the pool. He does, and I do. He's got a very nice cock - not quite as big as mine, with a big flared head and a ramrod-straight shaft. I go down on it for a while, gagging and swallowing, working the knob of his cock with the muscles of my throat, showing off the ropes of slimy spit that come out of me. After a while, I tell him I wish I could a picture of his sweet red ass for the blog and he agrees - and we go to my room. 

I spank him some more, because, well, just look at that butt. It's solid and meaty; it jiggles a bit, but it's beefy solid. I'm sure he's a good fuck. He wiggles and arches his back; I don't get the impression that he's big into hardcore spanking, but he's clearly enjoying what I'm giving him. I finger his asshole, and then spank that too. I love the fact that I ask for, and receive, consent to make the video, WHILE I'm making the video. I pass him the camera, and start sucking his cock. I gag hard on it, and the slime starts coming; I play with it in ropes, and rub it on his balls. One thing that's not immediately evident - just before the three minute mark, you see me spit into my hand. Just after the three minute mark, you hear him start to grunt and moan. What you CAN'T see, is that I've inserted my middle finger all the way up inside his asshole, and I'm vigorously massaging his prostate - I swipe it side to side, front to back, I run my finger around in a spiral, I make zig-zag patterns. You can hear it in his voice when I hit something that makes him feel intense sensation. Earlier, he had said that he just wanted to edge; apparently, the combination of going to my room, turning on the camera, and getting his butt-nut diddled, has changed his mind. He cums hard, and then I get him all the way down my throat to finish up. As he's leaving, he says, "Blog that shit!" 

And then, I pack up and head for home.