Nothing but Throat

I've been chatting with a couple of different guys on Grindr - and tonight, neither of them show up. This isn't surprising, but it's always kind of an annoying letdown - I do enjoy the hot chat as a thing in its own right, and I try not to put too much weight on hoping for guys to show up, but still. My dick kind of gets its little horny mind set on a particular game, and then that doesn't happen, and I have to find a different scenario. 

I wander around the mazes, check out the sauna, play with a couple of cute Latino boys. I don't ask their permission to post, so I'm not going into details - but it's fun, realizing that I have a little bit of the bathhouse equivalent of restaurant Spanish. Chupame. Abre la boca... Dame tu culo. They're cute. One of them has never had poppers before, and he REAAALLLY likes them. Later on, I find him and give him a little bottle I have extra, and it makes his night. 

So, I see this cute boy in the showers. Pale skin, nice body, handsome face. I've played with him before...I can't immediately place where, but later I realize he's the boy from  Can Opener. Woof. I perv on him a little bit while he's in the shower, then he meets me in the sauna, and then he comes to my room. We make out a little... he tells me I need to eat and fuck his ass, like before. So, I push him down on the bed, and begin to eat his ass. This is his favorite thing. It's a delicious butthole - lightly furred, clean with just a hint of musk. I push my tongue until I can feel him beginning to open for me, the tip of my tongue spreading the hot moist tissue inside; I roll my chin and then my face and the fuzz on the top of my head against his pert little shitter. I finger him, and then start to fuck. He's fun; he moans, arches his back, grinds his chest into the bed. I've got the door open; my back is to it, so that other guys can see as they go by. I'm taking it in turns to go deep, hard, fast, slow..... rocking side to side to open up his second hole, then pounding hard to make his ass smack against my thighs. It's an entertaining fuck. I spank his ass with moderate firmness at first, then more and more vigorously. He's pale, and marks up beautifully. The light on our left is a brilliant cantaloupe orange, and the other is dark magenta, a combination I like; the handprints show on one side, and I move the light to look at them. A couple of guys stop and watch, and then this HOT guy... who asks me not to write about him. There's some three-way back-and-forth play, and then a necessary shower, and then more play... that I can't tell you about. Dammit. It is GOOD, too. There is playtime that I would much rather enjoy, than write about, and I realize that the choice to have an "off-the-record" experience, allows me to be very differently focused. But, just picture me in a sparkling, delighted, happy mood after much adventure and two showers. 

So, more wandering around, more playing... and I'm in the maze. This slim Latino guy kneels down in front of me, I'm in a little space that's not well lit... he's probably five-ten, but maybe only 130; he's in good shape, but his whole body is slender. He looks like probably fifties, although I can't really tell. He starts to suck, and I put my hands on his shoulders. I feel a sharp prickly sensation on my balls, and realize it's the stubble on his chin... and then I realize... there's no scrape of teeth. He's really good. Then I realize... he has no teeth.

 

This is something I had watched a porn video of like a month ago, and had chatted with one of my pervert friends about, like two weeks ago... and had written up this elaborate fantasy about... and, like it seems to keep happening so often these days - I put it into mental form, and the Universe throws it at my penis in real life. It's like my brain says "Hey, here's a fucking twisted thing I think would be hot," and some imp of the perverse sends some throat-goat who can breathe through his ears to kneel and do whatever the thing might be.

I looked up the actual chat conversation - it was TEN DAYS. TEN DAYS, fucking Universe. OMG. THANK YOU. I feel gratitude, from the core of my being, and I thank the Universe for sending a hot guy with no teeth to suck my cock in such amazing ways. Here's the chat bit: 

I keep having the kinds of fantasy train that starts with "Hmm... I wonder what a gumjob feels like," and then gets a sudden bump from a photo of an angry-looking hypermuscular Black man with the words, 'Maybe I need to knock out some more of those teeth, to make more room for my cock" in a popperbate video... and ends up with a fantasy of me posting a video of somebody obviously having fake denture teeth knocked out, and then revealing a gum job with the obvious quick effort at effects makeup cracking at the seams and falling away because bloody goo doesn't stick to your healed gums. And then the fantasy of the version with the secret trip to the Bahamas because that's as far as the kinky Mexican doctor would travel, and the amazing nondisclosure agreements, and the film that gets made ON film and handed to one person who watched its entire processing, and his security watched to make sure there wasn't other filming. And sometimes I think, "Am I damaging my sense of humanity, here? Does going down these dark roads and ejaculating to it sometimes, cause, or merely correlate to, the difficulty focusing on my pleasure enough to ejaculate sometimes? Or is that just too much serial gooning getting in the way of interhuman sex?"

and here... because it's SO hot... the gumjob that started this fantasy turned strange sex reality. This was on a random porn tweet. I know nothing of its authorship. If you have rights in it and want me to take it down, please contact me: rubmybutch@gmail.com

I think this guy may have his upper teeth, but look at the way his lower jaw hollows when he sucks the guy's balls. You can see where the teeth aren't. It's so weird, how the mind instantly says, "Decrepit old man," and yet, with the dick in his mouth, filling out the contours, he looks younger. 

I ask him, without explaining to the folks around us and trying to join in (because saying, "DUDE, I've been fantasizing about getting a gumjob for a fucking month!" could be kind of rude), if he'll come to my room. Then, once I get him there, I tell him about the fantasy part, well, about the getting a gumjob fantasy part, not the crazy parts, and ask if he'll let me take some video. He's fine, as long as he's not identifiable. I know a lot of toothless guys are very sensitive about that... and it looks like whatever took his teeth (I don't ask that - we don't talk a lot; his mouth is  full most of the time we are together. I just can't keep my dick out of it) might have involved something like a car accident. This is not an old dude whose teeth are all gone from age. He has some scarring on his face and jaw, which might be part of the teeth thing... but he's a handsome man.  His hair is thick and dark, and just receding at the sides some. A lot of guys without teeth, are very insecure about it, and I feel really conscious about not wanting to make it so much of a fetish thing, that I ignore him as the person behind the slimy pink gums... ALTHOUGH... he does just walk right out there and gum dick without bringing dentures with him... he's comfortable with who he is, as a gummy cocksucker. He KNOWS he's damn good, too. He wishes more guys would really use his skills; we talk about that, how very few guys understand how to fuck a cocksucker like him, how to open his throat, how to stretch it over several minutes with progressive fucking. He is fine with letting me take video as long as he's not identifiable, and I talk with him about how awesome it feels, and we talk about throat fucking and how amazing it is, and... I fuck his throat. A LOT. I think about it, and I decide, that I want just a small segment of video, but I don't want to try to make this into a full-length fetish porn. Not tonight. I want to enjoy this, as a special gift... because the Universe has given me a present, the submission of this beautiful man with the AMAZING throat, and I should relax and put my penis into it. But if we hook up again, and he's game? I would TOTALLY put a mask on him and fuck his throat for an hour on camera. And he's so sweet, and has a beautiful dick to boot. 

I take like a minute and a half of video, just enough to show what's happening, and then put the camera down, and then go at him for probably half an hour. Up against the wall, lying on the bed with him leaning over me, standing with him kneeling before me. A lot of him kneeling before me. I talk with him about how I feel about the specialness of this kind of sex... of how this bond is very deep for me, of how much I not only love the sensation of having my cock in a man's throat, the slimy muscular tightness... but the gift and the submission of taking his breath away. He's clearly practiced not only gumming dick, but taking a ROUGH pounding in the throat - I am able to just fuck with complete abandon, railing his throat so hard that we leave a slick puddle that I can't seem to even wipe up with a towel. (I tip the staff a five, and tell them to mop, and why. This stuff is UNSAFE, like a lube spill. I'm serious.) He's not apparently as accustomed to being gagged for time or fucked at great length; when I hold, he struggles, but lets me win and doesn't tap until he needs to. We have some INTENSE fun. I keep pounding, and keep pounding, and holding... and pounding deep. When I get to a point where I'm not going to cum, but he clearly needs me to stop... I pull him up, and he is physically trembling, almost unable to stand. He makes to go, like he feels like I'm going to dismiss him. I have no such plans; I can tell when a boy needs some after-care. I hold him firmly to me, pressed between my warm body and the wall until the shaking stops, kissing him gently and telling him I have him, that I'm not going to drop him. This whole thing has been spectacular... and I thank him again and again for opening himself to me in a way that no one else has. Because... you can make a different pressure with  your gums and tongue, and in the way that a normal cocksucker, I think of having two holes... the lips, and the throat... he has three. Because the gums, move independent of the lips. They press, and they slide. They masticate. If somebody did that to you with his fucking TEETH, he'd shred your dick... but he can slide his gums against my cock, and it's like a little row of knobbly massaging fingers. I've got to say...

It is AMAZING. The sensation is unlike anything else. When a cocksucker is keeping his teeth out of the way, there's no pressure, because the teeth are being held out of the way, which means stretching the jaws open. You usually have the lips, which are soft, and then the tongue and the tissues of the mouth and throat, which are muscular with some bony parts supporting them, the hard palate and the jaw bones. But I can feel the ridges of his jaw bones pressing firmly but slickly down against my cock as it slides in and out, and then I can fully enter his throat with a hard stroke. There is no chance of anything here that can hurt me. I can thrust with abandon. I can fuck it like a cunt, and I tell him so. But I've been in cunts - they're nothing like this. There's no layers of brilliant tightness, no muscular massage... this is next level. 

After his shaking settles, I push him back gently against the wall. I kneel, and take his flaccid but massive and massively uncut cock into my mouth and began to suck and swallow it soft into my throat, swallowing again and again as it plumps in my esophagus. I get the impression he's used to not being touched, so much as used. And I get that, with bottoms... but, I want him to know... I KNOW what he's doing for me. I know and I value his skill. And I speak as one craftsman to another. He does AMAZING throat. And, I want to give him some pleasure, to show that I value him too. And I want to show him this particular trick... because it's a cool trick, and one I'd like for him to do for me, in future. I hug and kiss him some, although (I'm kind of surprised at myself...) I don't play with his mouth with my fingers or French-kiss and explore his gums with my tongue. I have no idea why I don't. Like, I just can NOT keep my dick out of his mouth... and that's all that's on my mind. Part of it, I don't want him to feel like I'm treating him like a freak. I don't want him to feel objectified outside of his control. I don't want him to feel dehumanized. I want for this to be hot for him too. 

And later, I run into him in the video room in the second maze; he points at a screen where this muscle guy is holding some twink by the skull and fucking his throat, and he says, "That's what I want... for the guy to push like that." And I'm like, "Well, we both know I know how to do what that guy's doing, and you know what you're doing better than that cocksucker in the video"... So... I push him down before me on the floor of the video room, and I push like that. I fuck him in the throat at some length... showing off for other guys, demonstrating how I fuck, and displaying his amazing skills. He sucks dick like it's a spiritual thing. I get it - I fuck throat the same way. Like I'm trying to put my cock, into HIM as a person. Like there's a divine energy that moves through the fuck. I suck dick the same way. I do my best to fuck the same way. It's fun, it's psychodrama, it's divine play... it's raising your energy, moving your fire around, getting your prana up. Yippee-ki-yaay, motherfucker. Go Team Tantra. 

Lance, the little Filipino boy I play with from time to time, runs into me in the maze, and I take him over to the lazy Susan table, and put him on his back and fuck his throat. He's been practicing. I hold it deep in his throat for time... and this is a new thing for him, he's able to relax and let his body slide into the panic state. It's like fucking into someone who's having a twitching seizure, or being shocked with a number of small live wires... different parts of his face, chest, body, and throat twitch at different rates and speeds, and it plays across my belly, crotch, thighs, and cock like lighting moving through clouds in a storm. IT feels AWESOME.  I feel so fucking autistic saying this, but it's like sensation play all over my sex body. I can always count on Lance to let me try the weird stuff. The real key to feeling the storm move across his body, is to get everything still, except for his hand... I fuck for a few strokes, and then plunge my cock ALL the way in, and hold it until it starts, and then watch for him to need to tap out... and then it's like watching for lightning. His throat spasms. He has a retching reflex. His face twitches. His shoulders curl. His abdomen curls to one side, then the other. Another retch. Then he taps. But what I'm explaining as a series of reflexes, is in reality this whole spastic twitching, and my cock is fully sheathed in his esophagus the whole time, and there is this rhythmic spasming all along the length that's inside his little throat [see also: Peristalsis] and... it's a lot going on. 

I do it to him again and again. Sometimes he can go for much of a minute. Sometimes it's only twenty or thirty seconds. I'm deliberately not letting him get a lot of air in between, which keeps his hypercapnia up... which makes the panic start faster. But he gets a few hyperventilating breaths. 

We do that for a while, and then go get a shower, because we're both slimy from all the throat fucking.

I'm wandering through the main maze, and there's this big, handsome, bearish Daddy man who walks up the aisle toward me. Salt and pepper hair trimmed just a bit longer than mine, but his is wiry because it's got some wave to it, furry chest; he clearly goes to the gym, he's maybe six-two, probably two-twenty but he's all strong muscle where I'm soft. I bump into him in a passageway in the maze, and I rub his chest; we stand there and touch one another for a minute, and a guy comes up and says something about us blocking the hallway, but then looks at us and says "Oooh, hey, Daddies! I like what you've got going on!" The Daddy guys says he doesn't know his way around, and he can't really see where he's going in this dimly lit space... I explain that this little corridor is lined with curtained cubicles, and that most guys step into one of those to suck dick, and we're blocking the main path -- but I tend to like spaces where I can see. I lean over to suck his dick, which is like a baby's arm holding an apricot - he's probably eight inches by six, not OMG huge, but SOLID big dick, and it swells and drools in my hand. It swells more in my mouth. It's an awkward angle, trying to suck him standing up leaning over, and I'd rather not kneel down in this dank part of the maze - I invite him to come back to my room if he's interested. He says he's just arrived, and maybe later. So we go our separate ways.

I walk around, seeing what's happening; it's around 9:30, and I try to leave around ten, so I'm not sure if I'm going to have another hookup, or if I should just call it. And then I bump into Daddy again. He has apparently done a full assessment lap, and decided he wants to play. He says, "Hey, you wanna go to your room?"

And we do.

OMG.

We get to my room, and play around some. I kneel down and suck his dick. He looks around at the lights and the toys, and he says, "I'm pretty vanilla... I'm probably not going to be the best dancing partner for you." I tell him, "You're a beautiful sexy hot man. If you can fuck me with that big dick, we'll be JUST fine." He says that he can, if he can wear a condom. We talk about how nobody wears them anymore, but he does. I tell him that there are usually condoms in the rooms - and I look for one but don't find one, and then slip down the hall and grab one from one of the wall dispensers. He puts me on my back and fucks me for a while, and it feels  pretty awesome... grinding my hips up against his belly, him pulling me hard against him in a variety of rhythms and depths... but we're clearly neither of us going to cum. He loves having his nipples pinched hard, and pinches mine hard too. I turn around, and he fucks me in the throat, and this is MUCH more awesome. He tells me, "You know... it's not usually my thing, but I feel like you're the kind of guy that I want to tie up and knock around a little," and I reply, "You know... I'm usually the guy doing the knocking around. But you're one of the few guys who pushes the button for me that I feel like I can not only trust you, but I feel like you're going to make it feel amazing... and I want you to do it." 

After that, he is kind of a different top. He's rougher, more aggressive... fucking hard into my throat (my jaw is still sore) and his cock fits PERFECTLY - like, I couldn't have taken any more, but my entire throat is filled with his thick slab of meat. When he shoves it in full depth and holds it, my whole field of view is black, because not only are my eyes shut...but his meaty thighs are shoved so hard against them, I'm getting pressure phosphenes. I see little white circles and sparks around the periphery of my vision as he thrusts. He does this, again, and again, and again... him fucking hard into my throat, holding me often by the throat or the jaw or the back of the skull, pounding and pounding, holding it deep, shoving it hard down. We kind of get to a stopping point, and he's talking about walking around, when I tell him, "I was really hoping to to get off and go home."  Bless his good, giving, and game heart, he says, "Well, then, let's do it... let's get you off." And he puts his balls in my mouth, and says, "Suck 'em. Suck those balls. COME ON, you're not sucking, you're just licking," and I suck them into my mouth as if I were trying to swallow them. One after the other. Then he lifts his leg, so that his perineum and his ass come across my face, and then I'm licking his butthole and then he's leaning his balls and perineum against me so that he's cutting off my air, and my view goes black again. Finally, I use a steel butt toy to replace the empty spot where his cock had been in my ass, and he deep-fucks me in the throat, and that does it... after a couple minutes of that combination, I start to move toward orgasm. I'm gasping for air in great sucking spasms, and he'll let me gasp once or twice and then plunge his cock back in. He clearly knows what he's doing, or is able to intuit precisely what I need, one or the other... and then it starts. He says, "There you go," and I feel a splat hit my chest. I pull off his cock just long enough to tell him that it's just begun, please keep going... and I keep ejaculating for probably forty seconds, in waves. I feel like the top of my head has been popped off like a champagne cork. I feel like I've had a chiropractic adjustment. It is AWESOME. I haven't had an orgasm this intense in probably a couple of years. I mean, each one is special and awesome in its own way... but this one, I literally see fireworks and feel like I'm going to pass out.

And THAT, Marjorie, just so you will know...

I half-joking ask him to take a picture of me... and when he asks if I really want one, I say, you know, what, yes, so he does. Then after he exits, I take a quick snippet of video, partly to show how far the jizz had sprayed. It amuses me.

and then I get dressed, still crusty, and head home to shower, eat something, take the kind of medicine I have to take before I go to sleep for real, and fall asleep on the couch, so that I could then go upstairs, take the other kind of medicine that has to be taken an hour after the first one, or my intestines go on strike and hold my buttsecks hostage... it has taken like TEN YEARS to get this fucker of a combination of digestive disorders under control. 

I have celiac disease, I have irritable bowel disease, I have had my gall bladder removed, and because of that, I have reactive bile reactive diarrhea if I don't take the other kind of medicine, an hour after I take the first kind of medicine, but four hours before I take my daily morning pills. FUCK GETTING OLD, also, FUCK HAVING WEIRD GENE DISEASES, but also, thank FSM for medicine that makes me shit like a normal human being, and be able to enjoy buttfuckery like a healthy dude. It's a fucked up dance of powders and pills, but it beats "bleeding like a cheesegrater was shoved up your crapper" or "can't stop the horrible dance of zonulin." 

I know, this is gross. I know, totally not sexy. But... this is BUTT SEX. I got FUCKED IN THE BUTT. You know what I had to do first? I washed the shit out of my butt. Talking about it is healthy. Normalizing a conversation about bodies is good for us. There's a pamphlet website that I love about this, and I love linking guys to it, because it's so simple, and so straightforward and fucking ANATOMICAL, and it's funny and irreverent... and it just deals with the fact that you're washing the shit out of your butt, so that you can enjoy having it fucked. :shrug: The thing is... I've talked to a bunch of guys, who have never had some older gay guy have a frank discussion with them... and they're messy. They don't know how to do it right. They don't understand. And yeah, you can Google, and you can find "How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex" and it's totally awesome, and I love it. It changed my life. Because yeah, I have gotten fucked plenty, and I have enjoyed lots of dick variety, and I know how to clean in order to get REALLY fucked... and a lot of the guys I play with, apparently have done Version #1, the 10-minute shower, and not Version #2, the 30-minute shower. And I have been blessed with a dick [see also: Big Dick Privilege... Big Dick Problems] that opens up that little corner, for a lot of guys. I LOVE that corner. Second hole is my happy place. ANYWAY. Sorry, I dickstracted myself. 

It started out to be kind of a weird, sketchy night... like I wasn't sure if I was going to have fun or go home feeling frustrated... but OMG. I haven't left there feeling so totally drained, so satisfied in so many ways, in a very long time. I realized, I didn't want to spend as much time pursuing video of some of these things, I wanted to just relax and ENJOY it more, like the time I had with the handsome Latino with the gums. That was... like a sacred thing. And the session with the guy I can't write about, was a THING. And then the session with the big handsome Daddy who blew my brains out... HOLY FUCK. That - was an intensity of orgasm, that I don't know I've ever experienced. At least not in that particular combination. Because the hypercapnia and the hypoxia from having his cock shoved in my throat, and my body going into those shaking spasms, as I was starting to orgasm... I was having like a coruscating seizure running up my body and around, WHILE I was cumming. He had to hold my head up. It was... OOofh. I mean, I wish that I could cum like this all the time. And the angels said, "Amen." 

This is the kind of orgasm that you study Tantra for. Like, this is the kind of thing where you practice, and you study, and then you have one of those nights where you jerk off and you cum for a minute and a half and your entire body is on fire... and you realize why you have been practicing. It's like that. I realized why I have been practicing throat sex. HOLY FUCK, y'all. And, I mean that, in the sense, not just as an expletive, because I sure as shit mean it that way too... but I also do feel like this kind of fuck, is particularly holy in the sacramental sense... there's this sense of taking his manhood into your throat, he's fucking into the path of nourishment, direct into your stomach, and he's cutting off the path of the spirit, the breath of life, which makes you see sparks and go into spasms... it's a fucking epiphany, is what it is. And you just don't get quite the same thing from any other fuck. And I don't ever feel quite as fully OWNED, as OCCUPIED by another man... as when he's fully down my throat. When my breath is taken away, given to Him. It feels sacred. It feels like worship. I'm not religious, but I appreciate the sacred moments in the mundane... and I feel like taking a man into my body, is sacred. I feel like kissing, in certain moments, is sacred. Breathing another man's breath, or shotgunning poppers so that we ride together on the vapors... it's an intense sharing. Having a man fuck me in the ass, is also a sacred feeling... but it's a step less. A man's cock in my throat, or mine in his, is the sanctum sanctorum, the naked flame, the inner temple. 

RIGHT as I'm walking out, like I have my soiled sheets and towels bundled under my arm and my backpack over my shoulder and pull my door closed, I bump into Daddy. I say, "Can I get your number?" and he says, "No. But I'll look you up on your blog. And... be kind."

Which I respect. Boundaries. And I'm always kind. The Universe has given me such amazing treats, so many fantastic pleasures... how could I be so rude as to not be kind in return? I like to think that's part of what I have done to deserve some of the amazing HOT FUCKING SEX the gods of fuckery have been throwing my way for the past year or so, is to really worship and respect and appreciate the beautiful men who say yes to it. Because it's been such a gift, and I've learned so much, and I've had SUCH a fun time, and it makes me feel engaged and erotic and hot. So... 

Daddy, you were... an EXEMPLARY fuck. THANK YOU. And my Latino mamador, muchas Gracias, that was exquisite. And the beautiful boy with the delicious butthole, thank you for another awesome time. And the other guy... you know what you did.