"So, when you're fuckin' a sheep...."

 Caveat, because I have to explicitly state these things: No animals were molested in the making of this blog post. 

We're in a backyard pool, in an undisclosed location, on an unspecified date. Details are on a need-to-know basis... and if you weren't there, you don't need to know. The queen is embroidering an invisible handkerchief; it is my duty to describe her, but it is also my duty to conceal her. If you get the reference, we should be friends and watch weird theatre. 

Of course, everyone brings fun tasty food. Of course there is liquor, and some weed. And there's a beautiful sunny breezy afternoon, and there's a mid-sized group of attractive, creative, horny men. The crowd we run with tends to skew to the bearish - there's a mix, always, but you're more likely to see bellies and body hair, less likely to see shaved steroid-enhanced gym muscles. And, to my delight, you see a lot of frisky uncut dick. 

As is so often the case, things are on the quiet and social side to start with. This event is nudity-not-optional; everybody's naked. This community of dudes is really good about being socially naked - we can hang out and visit, hug our friends, catch up on life, while the wind tickles our nutsacks. If you haven't discovered the joys of social nudism, I recommend looking up groups in your area - being naked removes so many layers of anxiety, concern, and pretense. You literally let it all hang out. And, although guys may talk frankly about somebody's big balls, or amazingly hairy shoulders, or whatever happens to be on display today - there is a sense of "we all have bodies, and every body is OK" that you don't always see in gay society. I have never seen anyone ridiculed or picked on at one of these events. 

Because of the way this afternoon runs, I'm going to present this as a series of little vignettes - little snippets of fuckery - there is a lot of social hanging-out stuff in between. 

LORENZO: I give him a good hard smack on each cheek, and it's fun to point out where you can see the crooked joint in my right middle finger. 

ISAC: I go into the house to get some more snacks, and I run into this cute strawberry blond boy. He looks young - I later find out he was born around when I graduated college, which puts him just barely into his thirties. He's got a charming gee-shucks smile, and when I step closer to him, he reaches out and strokes my chest. I mirror his gesture, running my fingers over his pale pink skin, the freckles and fur on his chest, the tattoo above his nipple. I give the nipple a tweak. We talk a bit; he's just arrived and stripped out of his clothes, stuffing them in a bag, so we're both mother naked, standing between the couch and the fireplace. I have my towel over my shoulder, in case I decide to sit on furniture... or in case it needs to be folded into a kneeling pad on the floor. Be prepared. Just like the bottle of poppers hanging on a lanyard around my neck says "Always make it easy for boys to give you ass," the towel, for me, means "Always make it easy for boys to suck your dick." It also means, "Spare your knees; you'll have more fun." I don't want the kneeling position to be the thing that causes a guy to tap out - I want him to struggle with taking my dick, not with the texture of the floor tiles. Isac tells me that he's really more of a top. I look at him, assessing probabilities - he's cute, well-made and strong looking, but I don't feel like he's going to be topping me, today. He's got a medium-sized erection jutting straight out, and I reach out and stroke it and the sandy blond fur of his balls. He strokes mine, too, and then kneels down and takes me into his mouth. 

You know the movie monster from Aliens, where the mother monster has a jaw inside her jaw? I remember reading that Giger based it on the hinged jaws of dragonfly nymphs. This boy... has that jaw. He sucks, and then he does this thing in the back of his mouth that I will be figuring out and reverse-engineering for my own use as soon as possible - it's like he chews with his tonsils. It is AWESOME. It's a motion that almost looks like he's chewing gum, but he's macerating the head of my cock with the back of his tongue and the roof of his mouth. I never bump into his teeth, at all; It's just warm, wet, firm smashing and suction. It makes my dick very, very happy. He works back and forth, swallowing and doing that amazing bizarre chew/swallow motion with his jaw. I ask if he'd like to find a place that's a little more out of the way, out of sight from where guys gather around the food, and so we walk to the back of the house to the master bedroom. There's a thick cotton rug here, which I point out is perfect for kneeling on. He tells me, again, that he's really more of a top. He says it a little nervously - like, maybe gay sex is new for him, maybe he doesn't feel comfortable pushing back with older guys, or maybe he just doesn't have the security and the language to express his desire fluently yet. Who knows - maybe I remind him of his uncle. I get the feeling that what he's trying to communicate is that he's not interested in being fucked - but I'm really more in the mood for some mutual cocksucking, so there's no issue on my side. 

To make sure he's got the message, I kneel and suck his dick. I suck, and suck, swallowing it into the back of my mouth, trying to figure out how he does the awesome thing he was doing earlier. He seems to enjoy it, but I think I'll need some lessons later on. After a while of slurping and sucking and licking, we trade turns, and I get to fuck into that sweet double mouth some more. I love this second-hole oral, and I show him how I can make him run out of air, gag him with my dick, shove it down his throat and skullfuck him. We have a nice time. We kiss and make out, stroking each other's bodies. We're both just warming up, and after a while we break and go back outside. 

The Foreskin Convention: I'm standing in the pool with Troy and this Latino guy I've just met and made out with named Uriel. We have a little discussion about -el names - all those Biblical angels and patriarchs. My namesake angel carries the flaming sword of Divine retribution; his carries a book of secret knowledge. It's awesome to be standing around in a backyard pool, naked, talking with culturally diverse men from different ethnic backgrounds about linguistics and naming traditions. So much of this ancient Greek and Latin and Hebrew, these mythologies and stories, infuse our culture in ways that many people are entirely unconscious of. It's not just Jacob and Isaac and Moses... it's Ariadne and Icarus and Philomela. It's Ganesh and Rumplestiltskin and Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds. 

I've known Troy from backyard pool parties for several years now, but have never gotten up the nerve to initiate play with him. He's a handsome middle-aged man with a foreign sounding name and an easy friendly smile. His hair is pale gold, shading to silver; he has an athletic but comfortable body that gets him plenty of modeling work, and a beautiful rosy pink uncut penis with so much foreskin that it blossoms around the end like a rosebud. I think he's hot.

I reach out and play with Troy's dick. We're standing in water up to about our nipples, the breeze cool on our shoulders and the water almost warm. I ask permission, and then put our cocks head to head and pull the skin of his over the head of mine and then my skin over his skin, overlapping to making a good strong dock. Docking is something that I have only recently figured out how to do properly, and I've been enjoying it the past few times I've been out to play and found other uncut guys. I am pleasantly surprised at how well it works in the pool water. Some sexual things are easier than others underwater, and it seems somewhat ironic that an underwater dock is effective. It's always tricky with docking, getting enough lubrication on the glans and the inside of the skin to allow for easy movement, without becoming so slick that everything slips apart. Lube is not helpful. Precum works well.

I'm standing here, explaining what I'm doing to a couple of guys who are watching plus the other guys in our little group, who have apparently never tried this particular delicacy before except for Troy. Wes, the birthday boy from the last post, walks up from the deep end and joins us. We laugh about the fact that it's a foreskin convention, or a FOUR skin convention... there are four of us standing in a little square, all four of our uncircumcised dicks pointed toward the middle. Uriel's is thick and stout, the hood eclipsing the knob. Wes is smaller, sucked up against his body with the cool water, nestled in fine straight black hair. Troy's bush is golden brown, his cock a rosy salmon pink, and thicker toward the middle than the end. We would have to do some real measuring to figure out which one of us is bigger. As I'm stroking my cock and his cock together in one hand, someone says "Where's a camera when you need one?" 

I point to mine, where it sits just a few feet away, and then I grab it and make some video. I talk through how to dock a dick, demonstrating with Troy's and mine. Uriel is to my left. Wes is on my right. Then, I dock with Wes while Troy strokes Uriel's dick. Then I dock Wes and Troy together. This is really not so much sex with a purpose, as it is a fun way of playing with your dick with friends. The penis is a delightful toy, full of interesting fun options, and I think guys don't actually play with them enough. I don't mean that guys don't touch themselves - I mean that they are not playful in their touching. Many guys have a stereotyped death grip that they use for masturbation, and a single grip that they use for pissing, and that's pretty much it for creative penis-handling. Docking can certainly get you off, but it's really more about enjoying your body and touching another man in an unusually intimate way.

Troy's career is really public, and so I'm particularly protective of his image and his voice. The weird music is obscuring the things he says. Stefan, who I've played with before [see also: Remarkable], comes up and starts to join us, but Troy tells him this gathering is foreskin only. We laugh. I explain to Troy that Stefan is a foreskin fan. Actually, I say, he's a foreskin technician. He gives amazing deepthroat head. He appreciates uncut dick, and handles it with the care and reverence it deserves. There was an awesome moment with him toward the end of the day at Wes's recent birthday party when I discovered that Stefan is a trained sword swallower [see also: The Fraternity of Handsfree Daddies, Part 3: Refuckification]. He doesn't get to dock, but I take his hand and hold two docked cocks together with it, letting him feel them sliding against one another.

"So, when you're fuckin' a sheep..." The title that stuck in my head for this particular post goes back to when I was in college. I was in school in Houston. Almost all my friends were in College Station at Texas A&M. I went there probably two weekends a month for most of a year, driving up with a girlfriend and staying with locals or traveling with them to events. One of our friends worked in a convenience store, and my traveling companion and I would show up at his store late at night and visit for a while before going on into town to meet up with all the others. He had this game that he enjoyed playing; it caught us by surprise the first couple of times, but after that we played along enthusiastically. Whenever a customer would come in, often wild-eyed on some sort of drug or more than a little drunk, and the bell rang signaling the door opening, he would seamlessly switch from a conversation about how our families were doing and what new projects he was working on, to a friendly relaxed conversation about sodomizing barnyard animals. 

The goal of the game was to keep a straight face and act like we were just having a perfectly ordinary chat. If you cracked up, you were on the hook for a drink later. He would turn his already-thick drawl up to eleven and say things like "So when yer doin' a goat, have you ever tried takin' their back legs and stickin' em in a pair of your old galoshes? Like, one leg in each boot. Then you kneel down on the toes of the boots, and fuck like there's no tomorrow. It gives you really good control and they cain't get away." There were gestures. This was always said in the same tone of voice that he might use to recommend a new brand of pickle relish; like it was perfectly normal polite chit-chat. 

Customers rolled their eyes and looked at us (appropriately) like we were crazy. Some of them left without their purchases. We weren't being loud, so any comment they made would have indicated that they were eavesdropping, but we also weren't being hush-hush about it. At one point, he explained that, "When you're fuckin' a sheep, if you get 'em up on something high, so that they're facing an edge, like a loading dock or a ramp, yer sheep'll keep backing up, backing up. So you just get 'er positioned so that she's facing over an empty edge, unzip, and she'll do all the work." I damn near sprayed my diet coke. The reason this became the title for this particular afternoon session of debauchery is that birthday boy Wes comes up to me after our docking session and tells me that he wants to get fucked. More specifically, he wants me to fuck him. I asked if he means here, in the pool, underwater? Yes. He does. He asks if it's okay to use lube for this. Of course it's okay. Silicone is best. 

He greases up his hand, rubbing the silicone onto the skin of his fingers so that it won't dissipate into the water. I get the impression he's done this before. He reaches under the water and greases up my cock, then reaches back behind him to lubricate his ass. This is one of those pools that has a deep middle; there's a section that's probably five and a half feet deep in the center, and you have to bounce on tiptoe across just a few feet of pool to get back to where you can set your feet flat on the ground. Short guys have to swim. I begin to work him open, alternating my finger and my thumb to stretch his hole. I put the other hand on his cock and massage his prostate with my thumb while I turn him to face me and dock the two of us together again. [note for future reference - this is an awesome-feeling position, once you get everything stuck into the right place and the orifices lined up. Use your thumb on the prostate, so that your fingers fan out and cup (and squeeze, and smack, and massage) his nuts and the buried base of the erectile tissue of his cock; also that way you don't have to twist your wrist. You hold his prostate between your thumb and forefingers, like you're trying to squeeze a slippery pearl out of him. If you've got two decently flexible and active partners, you could do everything mutually... a thumb in each other's asshole, your other two hands joined holding the docked cocks and stroking. I need to start naming this shit - I really want a gay Kama Sutra.. Mutual prostate massage during mutual cockhead massage accompanied by deep breath exchange kissing... a thing I want to try out and make sure all the A&P is sound, and also want to try for on video. It absolutely kills, as a top-and-bottom position. I can stroke back and forth, so that I feel the blood surge into his cock as I press with my thumb, and pressing with my thumb makes his dick leap in my hand. I know that the 69 version (where you have your partner's cock deep in your throat, a couple of fingers in his asshole massaging his prostate... that works JUST fine. It's like an express train to your head exploding. I bet Danny would be sublime at this. Sorry... got dickstracted. Back to the story.] Everything's too slippery to stay, but it feels nice as long as you're maintaining a firm grip with your hand. It's more like the two of us fucking into my curled fist, than an actual dock. My glans slides over his; his thrusts into my foreskin and feels like someone using their tongue to lick between skin and cock. Then, I turn him around so that he's facing toward the middle of the pool, and begin to grind my cock against his ass. He reaches back and helps adjust the angle, and then in one slow, smooth, inexorable stroke I enter him. I hold him with one hand under the water in front of his belly, pushing him back on to me, the other arm wrapped around his chest.

He arches his back, thrusting his buttocks upward to give me deeper access to his cunt. I fuck him deep and slow, trying not to fill him with pool water; fortunately, his tight little pucker makes a nice seal around my dick even after all of the abuse it took the other day, and the machinery of our pumping is watertight. I move him toward the part of the pool where the deep middle descends, and he begins to lose his contact with the ground. He backs up, pointing his toes and bouncing upward and back toward me. Needless to say, this causes his butthole to clench, and with each bounce, he flails a bit to get his balance, his shitter twitching a little in panic as he struggles for balance, grinding deliciously against my crotch. For a moment, I remember the conversation about the sheep backing up from the ledge, and I am instantly in a convenience store in rural Bryan, while simultaneously being balls-deep in beautiful boy butt. I bust out laughing. I explain it to him and to the others who are standing nearby. It's definitely another good trick, another fun thing to try, another clever way to enjoy your body and the body of another man. A day later, someone posts the yellow warning sign in a Facebook post, and I have to explain to my officemates that somebody sent me a funny email, and that's why I laughed out loud. No, I can't share it. [another note to self: It would be hot to fuck a guy with him standing on the decking, leaned over a pool. So he's got some safety to splash into the water if he loses his balance, but he's got some incentive to back up good and hard, to struggle to keep his equilibrium, to get that quivery shaky feeling that comes from being repeatedly shoved over a ledge, even IF you know it just means a splash in the pool. And maybe also it means ten stripes with the cane, if that makes the stakes a little more appropriate. Wow, my dick just keeps having ideas. I want to try this with somebody at a pool party. (looks at calendar) Hmm... hot diggity damn. There's a Private Playground pool fuck party this weekend. I bet some boy can be talked into this scenario. Also - if you're a horny fucker in Dallas, and you're not on the Private Playground email list, I recommend it.]

I go and get some food, and then somebody's got a glass weed pipe and I cadge a couple of hits from it. My Husband is standing on the patio too, and I go over and ask Stefan if he'd be willing to come over and kneel in front of the two of us, Husband and me, and suck our dicks. He agrees that sounds like something he could do. I go and stand next to Husband, and after a few minutes Stefan walks over and kneels down. He takes one dick after the other in his mouth, getting us hard, working up and down the shaft of one with his hand while he sucks the other. It's very pleasant. 

Then, this sexy Latino guy who just goes by Z, comes over and kneels down, and I'm fucking his face while Husband fucks into Stefan's. Z and I step to one side to let people walk through the area we're standing in, and Husband and Stefan continue enjoying themselves while Z and I get down to some serious throat-fucking. I shove into his throat again and again, making him gasp and spit. Gobbets of spittle fleck his face, and there is a long strand of drool linking my dick to his mouth whenever he comes up for air. I stand him up and dock our dicks, his extravagant foreskin enfolding my dick fully, mine making a good seal over the top of his. They "kiss" apart - you see the skin tug as they separate. Then I kneel down and play with his foreskin, and then do some deepthroat sucking of my own.