Angel Wings

Tonight's adventure was a lot of fun, and I got some really neat footage of a couple of things that I've wanted to explain. I had a sweet obedient boy at my service for the better part of four hours, and you see his pale skin go from pristine alabaster to blazing vermillion under my hand and paddle as I teach him how to suffer and struggle his way through me taking my pleasure. It was a GOOD night. And, once again, everyone said yes when I asked their consent to include them in this perverse little erotic memoir, which turns me on even more. 

I had played with John a couple of months ago when I ran into him with his friend Greg. John's into fisting, and Greg and I had double-penetrated him, and I had fisted him and fucked him, and then spanked his ass with my hand while Greg took video. Spanking was brand new for him at that point - it always surprises me when guys are into a thing like fisting which seems so extreme to me, but have no experience with other kinks like spanking that I think of as adjacent - but he took to it and enjoyed it, and he was open to exploring further. He also hadn't ever had his throat really plumbed; again, surprising to me, but he liked it well enough when I tried it with him, and agreed to let me take him further down that road too. Tonight, I definitely broke him in thoroughly on both counts. You would think, looking at the videos, that he was an experienced throat goat who's been paddled extensively - but I was his first real hard experience, tonight, for both these things. I love opening up new experiences like this for guys. Especially when a guy like John takes to it like a duck to water. 

This is from when I first met John a couple of months ago. I spanked him as his friend Greg held the camera, and I explained to him as I did it what goes on in his body with the spanking. He's got a lovely ass. You can almost hear me explain, over the music, that he's starting to shake from the sympathetic activation, the acetylcholine and the epinephrine - he does eventually get the endorphins kicking in, and he starts to get the floaty buzz. 

This is also from when I met him that first time. As with deep fucking [see: Shrouded] there's often a little blood with fisting; this is a print of my right hand on one of the bathhouse towels. I folded the towel over my hand, so my little finger is mirrored in the center, and my thumb is duplicated at the two sides. It reminds me of a Hand of Fatima with the double thumb; I wasn't aiming to make a print, but it came out kind of cool. I wish more people would talk about the blood that you get, and how to tell the safe blood (not very bright red, not a lot of it, not flowing, no pain) from the bad blood (any of the unpleasant things the safe blood is not) - because it surprises a lot of new guys, and they freak out. I've talked down more than a couple of new guys. So I'm talking about it, and I'm writing about it. The fisting guys know, and they talk about it amongst themselves, but a lot of it is hush-hush, and it's not easy to find out about unless you're initiated by someone who's experienced. The safe blood comes from rupturing capillaries in the intestinal lining, caused by abrasion from rubbing with the hand; it's not from any cuts, scrapes, or tearing of the tissue. If you have the safe blood, you just need to be aware of it, and you maybe stop doing the things that make you bloody for a little bit. If you have any problem blood, you have to figure out what's going on, and see if you need medical attention. Some of the causes are "just stop fucking for a few minutes" or "stop fisting for the night" issues, but some are "call an ambulance, right now" issues. Fisting isn't safe sex; you should do your reading and know what you're doing. There's a reason the fisting hankie is red. 

At the top of the evening, I have a little appetizer by the pool, waiting for my main course to arrive. This guy Todd is standing in the shallow water, and he watches me as I have a conversation with a couple of other guys about the weather, the new dog we've added to our little pack of rescued rascals, the fun I've had at the bath house on various nights of the week. I mention something about throat-fucking, and how much I enjoy it, and how I like teaching guys to take it. Todd introduces himself, and asks if he can give my dick a try. I put him off, at first; I'm waiting on John to show up, and I keep visiting. After a while, though, I decide to let him give it a go. He's not quite my usual prey base. I've gotten a little spoiled. I feel like a fucking hypocrite, chasing smoking hot twenty-somethings when I'm an overweight fifty-three year old man, but there's some special boy-bending Daddy power that I've just grown into, and I'm going to ride that pony until it drops dead. I do my best to make those boys feel as amazing as humanly possible, and somehow they keep throwing themselves at my penis. Anyway - nice enough looking guy, he can suck it some. He stands in the shallow end of the pool as I'm standing on the edge, and he starts to blow me. After enough regular fellatio to get hard, I start testing him out for my favorite: irrumatio. I push. He gags. I have to give him credit, he doesn't make me stop; he does pull off, but he lets me put it in again. And again. I explain that it's normal; a lot of guys are sensitive, and it can take a lot of training and practice to get over it. We do this - me gagging him with my cock, him striving to take it and trying to figure out if it's something he wants or not - and as I'm thrusting into his mouth, I'm also explaining to him that part of what I'm doing here, is showing off. I'm showing everyone standing and lounging around and swimming in the pool, that I'm a rough top who likes to fuck throat. I'm letting everyone know that I'm unafraid of, and in fact in keen pursuit of, those deep, visceral gagging noises. I'm advertising. 

After a while, it's time for a break. I go and wash off in the outdoor shower - I'm not quite as covered in slime as I am sometimes, but I definitely have his drool on my nuts and halfway down my thighs, and I'm going to go inside in search of my friend and/or other fun, so a good rinse is in order. It's just good manners. I figure that if another guy watches it happen and THEN goes for my slimy dick, it's on him, but if I'm going to wander around wagging it in guys' faces, it should be at least reasonably clean. 

After I shower, I come back out, and visit with Todd some more. It turns out he's an ER nurse, which is always extra fun for me - I love being able to explain things in terms of anatomy and physiology, and medical professionals comprehend the weird sex stuff that I do on a level that most normal guys don't have the knowledge to be able to get. I tell him about the blog, and about how fascinated I am with the whole process of making throat slime, and of course I have the consent conversation where I ask his permission to relate our experience, because he'll definitely recognize himself if he reads this. I give him the URL. I talk to him about my desire to share this arcane information, because it seems like so much of it almost nobody knows, or at least nobody talks about. I tell him about the goblet cells and the mucin and the pharyngeal reflex. He tells me he's been frustrated for a long time with his tender gag reflex; I show him with my fingers where specifically it typically resides in the center of the back of the tongue, and teach him a few tricks for how to work on it: 

1: Make a fist. When you're sucking a dick, and you feel the gag reflex starting to pull on your nerves, squeeze the fist, and focus your attention on squeezing the fist. Keep your mind inside your fist. It distracts your attention from the reflex, and like so many things, attention is key. If you can ignore it, and keep ignoring it, it has less power over you. Same exercise, but squeeze/think about your butthole. Pinch your thigh. Flex your left foot. You get the picture. Get your attention away from your tonsils. 

2: Touch your tongue. Start with just putting your finger, or the handle of a spoon, or a popsicle stick, on the center of your tongue, about halfway back. Slide it gently back, a tiny bit. Try to relax. Let it just sit there. If you can have someone help you with this, it can be good too. As it gets less annoying, try sliding it back a little further; go back and forth as you can tolerate it. Again, the aim is desensitization; you want to become familiar with the sensation, and allow it to become less bothersome. 

This sweet boy came to me at a party (the same one at Dan and Dave's where I got to fuck the hot boy on the lazy Susan and Jane tried to knock me off balance but failed) and he asked me for some throat training. You can hear me telling him to squeeze my dick - this is actually a useful combination of strategies #1 and #2, because gripping a hard dick in your fist can really help concentrate your attention and take your mind off what's happening in your mouth. Watch his facial expressions - he's really going through it, but he's doing so well. 

Also - you don't have to have a helper on hand for this. There's a submissive hundreds of miles away, who shows me his progress in his lessons on video. We'll probably never meet, but I really feel like I've impacted his growth as a cocksucker. We've moved on now to Wim Hof breathing, and he's holding for time. 

3: Just gag. This is my favorite. If you can, and not everybody can, learn to just let your body gag.  A very few guys will automatically vomit; most guys will experience separation between the gag reflex and actual vomiting. The trick is to realize that the gagging won't hurt you, and let it pass. Put something safe like a finger or a dick into your mouth and press the back of your tongue and let your body gag. Try to relax and feel the sensation of gagging move through your body, and don't fight it. Think of it like a wave; I feel mine from about mid-thigh rolling up through the top of my head, and I let it roll through me and out my mouth. Don't try to stop it, and don't struggle with it. If you want to get the amazing slime out, spit, don't swallow it. It can really help to practice this when you're alone, before you try it out with hot strangers you want to impress. Your body may REALLY fight you on this one. 

I wander around the hallway. I see the guy doing HIV testing, and I tell him about the hot blog entry I wrote about our clandestine fuck a few weeks prior [see: Testing in Room 200]. Then I locate my phone and check my messages to see that John's arrived. I find him, and we make out for a few minutes in the hallway; we're in sight of the HIV testing nurse, and I know that he's watching us, and he'll probably read this later and grin, knowing he saw the beginning of John's wild night while he was reading about his own breeding. I catch his eye over John's shoulder, watching him as I play with John's young supple body, and we exchange smiles. I pinch John's salmon-colored nipples, talk to him a little about how I like to play, about what my plans for him this evening involve. I slap his chest around, getting him used to the idea. He's going to get a lot more slapping as the night goes on. 

I take John to my room, and put cuffs on his hands, binding them loosely behind his back. I lay him forward on the bed, so that his feet are on the floor and he's lying on his belly on the low platform, his ass and his back presented to me - a lovely blank canvas of pale skin, ready for me to paint it with sensation. I explain to him what I'm going to do, and then I lay a very strong handprint on his right buttock. I watch as it colors up, taking photos as the capillaries flush red and the color deepens. I strike his left shoulder with my right hand, and then his right shoulder with my left; I explain that I'm planning a whole set of handprints, like angel wings on his shoulders. I work them in alternation, one side and then the other, so that they're balanced. I can see the phalanges in my fingers bright against the red welts on his pale skin, standing out like feathers. They blossom one at a time; he's fairly quiet as I strike him; he lets out the occasional whimper, but he's not noisy, no big yelps or moans. 

I'm fully hard now; impact play always gives me a throbbing erection. He strokes my cock with his bound hand, and I put just enough lube on it to keep the foreskin from feeling dry. I thrust into his palm as he grips it. I begin to work on his asshole, fingering it and then moving to fucking it, all the while decorating his ass with my handprints. After a while of this, I pick up the paddle, and get more serious.

 

This whole time, the door to my room has been open, and a couple of guys have watched the proceedings. There's a guy I've met before, Nate, and I ask him to hold the camera so that I can use both hands. He plays videographer as I proceed to give John's ass a thorough beating, explaining as I do so what I look for in a boy during a spanking: I watch to see the pain dissolve into him, to see his shaking subside and give way to a relaxed melted posture, his body becoming soft and pliant again. When he's fully digested the pain I've given him, he's ready for more, and I give him a few more smacks. This goes on for a while. Then I fuck him some more, and then I work his hole open with my fist. In a couple of the videos you can see Nate's towel and his hand moving, stroking his cock just barely off screen - hi, Nate! 

A guy named Jaime shows up and hangs out for a while. He's handsome, maybe my age or a little older, strong body with a shaved head and tattoos. Nice dick with a really thick mushroom head. He also plays cameraman for me, and in exchange I offer him some of John's obedient mouth. I always phrase this as "John, would you like to suck the nice man who's been helping me?" but John knows it's an instruction more than a question. John kneels and opens his mouth and then his throat for him; I show him how to push into John's mouth, and then I turn John around on the bed stroke Jaime's chest and body as he fucks John's ass. Almost silently, smiling softly, he breeds him. He and I make out for a while as his cock softens inside John, and then he wanders off. 

I take John out for a walk; I need to move around, and John needs to move some, because he's been in limited postures for a while. We walk outside, and I see a hot boy with very tan skin and sandy gold-brown hair in the swimming pool. I kneel John down beside the wall in clear view of the tan guy, and I start him sucking my dick. As I fuck into his throat, I explain to him - it's partly about fucking his throat, which feels AWESOME... and it's partly about displaying my dominance over him, which also is amazing, because he's a beautiful boy, and it makes me proud to show him off... but it's also about showing off specifically for the hot boy with the dark tan, because I think he's sexy and I want him to come play with us. I do this for a while, making John splutter and gag hard on my dick. Then I ask him if he can do it to himself - if he can gag himself on my cock without me pushing - and he does, and THAT makes me a special kind of proud, because that requires a boy overriding his basic biology on a very fundamental level, leaning in to something we're naturally inclined to run away from, and I know he's doing it to please me. I explain out loud to the golden brown boy in the water, that I'm making my boy show off his cocksucking skills off just for him, personally, because I think he's hot, and that we'd love to play with him; he doesn't seem to know what to do with this information. After a while, we go back inside. 

I work John's hole open, fisting him... and then reach in from the other end, putting my other hand into his mouth and pulling slime from his throat. I have always enjoyed the sensation of someone choking while I'm fucking him, and it was fascinating to take it to this next level. The feeling of having his sphincter and his core spasm around my wrist when he gags is amazing. 

Another nice gentleman helps us out - let's call him Frank. I am going to have to make a spreadsheet to keep all these homos straight (ha! Seriously, though, if you want to manage the spreadsheet, email me at rubmybutch@gmail.com; database management is a perfectly acceptable way to offer service to a top whose writing you enjoy.) Frank takes video of me exploring John's throat, plumbing the depth of his esophagus, making him gag again and again. I get some awesome video of him making slimy tracks of thick mucus all over my dick. I explain, to the guys in the hallway and to the camera, about how John is able to stop me when he's had as much as he can take - it's multiple rapid taps on my leg. You can hear him do it a couple of times in the video. This kind of signal, or something like it, is important for any kind of play where "Oh, my God, STOP, this isn't what I wanted, I'm going to tell my brother, and he's going to kill you" doesn't mean stop, or gasping and gagging and spluttering desperately for air doesn't mean you need the dick out of your throat just yet. What I wish I had recorded, because it was SO FUCKING META... I had to explain to Frank, that the hottest part of fucking this beautiful boy in the throat, FOR ME, is that it was all about teaching him how to negotiate consent fluidly in a situation where I have literally removed his power of speech, and he's trusting me to fuck him in the throat until he can't take it any more, and then immediately stop and treat him with care and kindness. This is so important, and I think it gets glossed over a lot. The shit they do on these super-rough porn videos, I know a lot of it's just pretend, and maybe some of it's really rape or brutality or cruel guys with no human kindness abusing sad guys with no self respect... but if you're going to receive the submission of a beautiful human being, and take him to scary and frankly dangerous places like some of this stuff can be... you should be a decent person, and consent is the soul and center of that. Y'all take care of your bottoms. 

After a while, what you can't see because, although I DO get permission to write about it, I don't get permission to video it - the hot golden-brown boy shows up. My sexy-boy trap baited with throat-fucking has worked! Picture me rubbing my hands together and saying "mwahahaha" with wicked glee. I politely ask Frank to let him trade places; the room is small enough that Frank has to step out so that Curtis can step in. 

Curtis is MUCH more attractive close up than I even realized from a distance. His skin is a dark golden tan, with a classic Speedo tanline marked out in creamy pale skin. His body is tightly muscled and lean in the way that you get if you do some kind of physical all-over work like dirt farming, or your sport of choice is some full-body thing like rock climbing or swimming. Swimming would match up well with the super dark swimsuit tan. He's covered in a pale golden fuzz all over, which makes him glow in the lights I had on to video me fucking John in the throat, and the hair thickens and darkens to a deep brown around his nipples and his crotch. His teeth are slightly off perfect, but he smiles often, and he's got a country accent the few times that he talks. His tight little nipples are pierced with bars with tiny neon yellow knobs on the ends. I rub his flat belly, and I tell John that he should show our new guest some appropriate appreciation, since he accepted my invitation and agreed to join us. John does. OMG, he does. Curtis isn't rough with John, at first, but after a little while to get them acquainted, I show him how to be. I start out by holding my right hand on the back of John's head and my left cupping Curtis's tight round butt, and pushing them forcibly together. After a dozen or so deep strokes, I swap my cock out for his, and take a few deep strokes of my own. We go back and forth, and I revel in watching as Curtis's cock stretches John's gullet. It doesn't take long before Curtis's own hands are on the back of John's skull, and it's a scene worthy of any porn film. The amount of slime that is flowing out of his throat becomes so much that we're standing in a slippery puddle a foot across, and I have to put my towel down to avoid sliding across the floor. I tell Curtis that we ought to try double-penetrating John; it takes some arranging, but we get it figured out and get our dicks in him. After a while, I get out from under and get behind Curtis, and stroke my cock against his ass as he fucks. I start playing around with his ass, and he says something about he's usually more of a bottom. DAMN, if I'd known THAT half an hour ago... I start working on fucking him, and he says it will make him cum really fast. I hardly get it inside him, when it does. I wish I had known there was a possibility of getting my meat balls-deep in Curtis, but DAMN, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. If I run into Curtis again, I'll see what else that tight little ass can take. Curtis is the one that I feel like I'm playing a twenty-pound fish on a twenty-one pound line... I ask him, and he's totally cool with being in the blog. There have actually been a few lately where I mentally weigh the value of the story, the emotional arc in my head, and the hotness of the fuck itself, and think... how would I feel cutting that entire story arc out of the evening? FUCK it's hot... I'd miss it, but I'd have to do it. I'm just glad he says yes. If he hadn't showed up at my room, I would have felt OK with him just being "hot guy in the pool who I talked to" - because he didn't join in. I actually had this conversation with John earlier, about whether Curtis might show up, and how it would affect the journaling of the evening's adventures. Everything was on my side; it's all my words and my story. But once he steps in and joins the play, I need to confirm that he's OK with me making him part of the written record too. 

I share John with Frank a little bit, too, and Frank says that he's usually more comfortable in John's position. He gropes my cock, and says he wishes he could have a turn. He's a good looking guy, and I'm game. I ask if he wants to get fucked, and he's VERY keen. I start to rearrange things to fuck him, but realize that John is shaky and needs some walk-around aftercare down time, and I tell Frank he's got a raincheck for later this evening. I walk John around, we get a shower, we get a relaxing break. John finds some friend of his, and hangs out talking with him. I wander around on my own, and run into Jaime and Frank in the video room in the second maze. I tell Frank I'm up for redeeming his raincheck now, if he wants to - and he wants to. I start with him sucking my cock to warm up, then I turn him around and put Jaime's cock in his throat while I fuck him. I start with moderate thrusting, and work up to deep, hard pounding, while spanking his ass hard. I push him hard onto Jaime's cock, my thrusting shoving him down onto it. After a while, we switch ends, and Jaime fucks his ass. I realize quickly that I should have a shower before I put my dick in anybody's mouth, and I apologize to Frank for not catching that issue. Jaime fucks hard for a bit, and I hold on to them both, strumming Jaime's nipples as he cums again. I tell him this is the second guy I've helped him breed tonight. He thanks me, and after a little relaxation, I wander onward. I'm having one of those nights where I have a lot of fun sex, but don't cum; some times it just happens. 

This is something I haven't really shown anybody so far in the forty-something entries in here. Two things, actually... me sucking dick, and my face. I've decided, I'm not ashamed of it, and anyone who knows me enough to question who I am, knows who I am anyway... so howdy, y'all. 

I found John in the hallway talking to this slim sexy young guy. We ended up having a really fascinating conversation - he says he ends up having more conversations than he has sex at the bath house, and we talked and talked. We talked about my recent adventures in throat-slime, and I demonstrated by sucking his lovely cock. It's actually been fun putting into practice the stuff I've been learning; some of this is information that's genuinely new to me, too. You can hear me gag, and watch as it flows through my body. You can see how much slime comes out of me, but what you can't see is how I am constantly bathing his balls in it, and how it makes a huge puddle on the bedsheet. He didn't have to put his hand on my head at all. 

Afterword: 

John sent me a message the next day: 

"Oh wow. Just looked at my butt"

I replied 

"Pics?"

       
"Nice. Is it sore? That kind of thing is sometimes superficially tender, but I didn't strike deep, and I made a point of spreading the strokes around so that there wasn't too much damage to the skin in any one place." 

"Not really sore. Maybe somewhat tender." 

"If someone hits you too much in one place, it gets a feeling almost like they've cut you... that skin an take a long time to heal, and can be painful for quite a while." 

"So. Watch the videos. You have an hour [I had given him a deadline to OK the edits of the videos I was going to include of him]"

"Wow" 

"We had fun"

"I just sat down and watched them. Totally shot cum all over my chest."