That fag noise

It's been a month. 

I haven't played with anybody - just kind of taking a break, getting some other things done, getting some perspective. I was happy that I had a clear battery of STD tests in February, which honestly was a squeaker after all the insane sex I've been having. So, I am in a good mood, feeling full of energy and semen, and I head to Club Dallas for a night of entertainment. 

I check in, set up my stuff in my room, arrange the lights, get some THC, lay out my toys and tools. I'm in an enthusiastic mood. The parking lot is fairly full, and there's a lot of guys moving around - which usually means a fun night. And boy, howdy, it sure is. 

Walking down the hall, the first guy I run into is Steve [see also: Peristalsis]. He's the guy I played with last time, who was hot, sexy, and fun, *right* up to the point where he passed out. I'm actually really glad to see him - he laughs, and tells me he read the entry, and he was mortified to discover all the details - apparently his memory hadn't been complete about what happened. He also tells me I was kind in estimating his age and the blondness of his hair, which is silvering in the brighter light - but hey, he looks like a hot sexy Daddy to me, and I'm happy to hear that he feels flattered by my description. I always try to portray partners in the best light - I'm having hot fun with sexy men, and there's no reason for me to be mean-spirited when I sketch them out. I really wish he felt comfortable with photos - you'd see. He's HOT. 

He tells me that he had felt both unwell and embarrassed after things went pear-shaped last time, and he had gone home soon after. We stand in the hallway, leaned against a door frame, and make out a little and play with each other's dicks - and I tell him, in vivid detail, about what happened. I was really hoping he'd email me, or post a comment on the page, just letting me know he was OK - because I was genuinely concerned for him. He seemed to be fully upright and OK by the time I walked him to the showers, but I would have felt more comfortable if I'd had a chance to keep an eye on him for a bit longer just to make sure he didn't get woozy again. It's kind of an amusing game - I'm stroking his beautiful, thick, rock hard cock, and I'm telling him about how he slumped bonelessly against my body and pissed himself. It's like I'm putting him on display a little bit - guys aren't really stopping to watch or listen, but we're standing right out in the open, and they keep walking by. It's fun, watching him wriggle in embarrassment. I tell him that it was a good learning experience for me - I'm playing with guys who will often be combining those medications (Cialis [tadalafil], Viagra [sildenafil], etc.- all of the "afil" range of boner pills) with poppers or other recreational drugs, and syncope is definitely an option. I kneel and suck his dick, showing off a little. I push him down and he sucks on mine, working to incorporate the things I've told him. After a while, I tell him that we ought to go around and terrorize the crowd a little bit - with two big hard dicks and a lot of creative sex energy, we make a good team. I'd fuck us, for sure. I talk some with him about how I've been studying Tantra - about Will Tantra's videos, about Mantak Chia, about Barbara Carrellas. I talk him through a visualization of the Microcosmic Orbit: imagine a current of energy, cracking like static, starts just behind your balls, flowing up your spine in back, then over the top of your head, down your throat, across your chest and belly, to your lower Dantien - the energy center just above the groin... and then out to the head of your cock. If you squeeze your PC muscle, you press that energy up into your body, and pull it toward your chest, your face. I tell him I would love to show him what it feels like to have that energy edged and teased. 

We find a hot guy who looks Italian to me, but sounds Latino. He's handsome, with wavy black hair and tanned skin heavily decorated with tattoos. We make out a little bit, with him stroking our cocks one in each hand, and he asks if we'd like to go somewhere less busy. He speaks a little English; I speak solo un poquito Español - but we get along just fine in the common language of cock. We end up outside, in the area that doubles as an outdoor play space and a smoking patio. We step behind a wall, and there's a nice little cubicle with a bench. As I'm about to figure out what to do next, he spontaneously drops his towel and kneels on it. I love a good obedient boy. Steve and I take turns fucking his mouth, and then his throat - I show him how I like it, how to open up and let me go deep. Steve's dick is thicker and a little longer than mine, and presents some challenge. We play games - first, I make him hold for as long as he can stand, and then we start trading off: ten deep thrusting stokes into his mouth for Steve, then ten for me. Back and forth. It's beautiful, but the boy wears out after a while and we break up and go back inside. We walk around, but there don't seem to be any more takers for the Double Daddy Express. We end up outside by the pool, and he tells me that he's going to have to go soon - he's got a wife and kids, and although his wife has caught him once in an indiscretion, they don't talk about his evening entertainment. As I've said before, other people's partners are not my business - and, sometimes, they're fully imaginary - but I'm pretty sure this one is for real. He doesn't feel like he's bullshitting. We're outside on the pool deck, where there are three big benches shaped like a U, backed up against the windows that let onto the showers. There are bright floodlights on this part of the deck, and the windows are all mirrors. I can vaguely tell that there might be guys inside watching, but I can't see anything clearly but our own reflection. I'm standing in front of him for a while, looking back and forth between the mirror showing my torso and head, and then down to see my cock disappearing into his bearded face. It's a hot image. Later, a guy will tell me that he stood inside and watched and jerked his dick - so hey, guy! It's one of the guys I've played with before a little - showing him how to gag a bottom with his hand and his dick - and he always enjoys watching my adventures. Steve tells me that he's really going to have to go - he's got to get home - and so I sit down on the bench, lean forward, and take him into my throat. 

It's a little hesitant at first - it can be difficult to get a guy's throat opened up well, especially with as big and as rigid as his dick is. I'm persistent, and he is willing, and I end up getting him fully down my throat after a couple of grunting gulps. It gets to a point where I'm not really paying attention to anything but his thrusting meat in my mouth, and trying to deliver as much sensation as possible to it - I swallow, I moan, I run it in and out, press it with my tongue, lick the underside of his cock shaft with a firm tongue. He is getting more and more aroused, and I spend a while just keeping him close to that edge - bringing him up to an eight or a nine out of ten, then letting it rumble back down to a seven, then sucking back up to a nine. I show him how to hold my head - how to grip the occiput and the mandible to pull my throat open by the jaw. I edge him with my all the tricks in my arsenal until he reaches the point of no return, and then he floods my throat with semen. It's a huge amount - and with his cock buried all the way down my gullet, I hold and swallow as he shoots spurt after spurt. We can both feel the muscles of my esophagus, and that little sphincter behind the larynx, the pharyngoesophageal sphincter, is just milking his cockhead as I move my jaw up and down, making my larynx bob. He's still spurting. Then a spontaneous gag brings it all up for a second, and my mouth is flooded from the back. I taste his load, but only on the back of my tongue - it's fairly sweet and tangy, and he's still pulsing, and I'm just keeping him there. I did some deep breathing right before, as he was clearly going to ejaculate... so I can hold my breath and work. I swallow some more, but now it's mixed fully with the mucus in my throat, and I play with it on my tongue. Finally, he stops shaking and I withdraw his cock from my throat with a wet slurping sucking sound. I do the goofy thing with the frog's tongue - and this time, DAMN! The semen, mixed with so much copious throat slime, makes it PERFECT. I can drop it and slurp it back up, and then I spit it in his mouth. Then, I sit him down on the bench, and show him the other side. I don't cum - there's really not enough time - but I have an awesome time playing in his throat, stretching him out, showing him how it feels. I go shower, and he goes to get his stuff together. I catch him while he's still in the locker room (you know? I don't remember if I've ever NOT gotten a room. I think the requirement for a lockable controlled "my personal room" space is a neurospicy thing... like I need to have control over that, so I can relax about other shit. I always get a room. And now... the cute little receptionist boy, knows that I like one particular big room with a mirror, and he'll get it for me if he can. Or, like, if they need to mop, but if I can wait five minutes they'll have it, kind of thing. Anyway. Long aside. I have fun flirting with him, just a little. And I told him about the blog. But I wonder if he's read any of it.)

Some of these videos, the camera is face-down on the bed. I want to hear it, to let you imagine what's going on. I find that not only is the scene hot from that perspective... it's almost like you're kneeling blindfolded in the room and watching... but it also lets me kind of relax and know I don't have to worry about catching his face or his tattoos, and I can use both hands (Remember - occiput and mandible. The occiput is the kind of thrust-out part right above your neck - it's a fairly convenient handle for the skull. I like to pull the jaw forward with a wide grip on either side of the lower jaw, and just picture how a snake eats a grasshopper... I may have to look for my footage of that, because it's FUCKING INTENSE

there it is. We sat and watched that fucker choke down that grasshopper for most of an hour. His entire head folded open to get around it. He worked his jaws forward a wiggle at a time, lower and then upper, ratcheting the grasshopper into his throat like he was using a manual winch. You know those come-along things you cable to something sturdy, and then your Dad lets you crank it, but not when it gets too hard because you're just ten, and then that fucker hits the tooth instead of the trough on the little gear, and it whips back and smacks your fingers? And then, your Dad yells at you because you let the gear slip, and the chain link thingy fell off the end of it, and "The damn thing bit me" was apparently under the heading of "giving me lip," and then he took off his belt. Yeah. Kind of like that. Anyway. Little memory trip aside... it worked its jaws click, click, back and forth. And I have a bit of video, but it's JUST the sound. I put the camera face-down, and filmed this... because of a couple of things... I can picture turning it into some seriously hot BDSM-type CNC script... like, the thing where maybe there's another person only visible by a foot, or the edge of a knee, and you hear me talk about beating someone with a belt. 

This throat thing, though - I can SERIOUSLY recommend it, from both sides. If you can do this, you'll be VERY popular at some of the kind of parties I like to go to. I'm working on it, but I'm nowhere as trained as this boy is. And the other thing - if you can show guys that you can do the top part - like let them watch you negotiate consent, and go rough but within boundaries, and take the boy to the tap-out point at least twice in quick succession... I feel like a lot of guys look at that, and something that might have been TOO scary, becomes manageable. Guys realize they can try it on with me - I'm not serious. And the FANTASY that they want - that non-consensual, throat-raping face-slapping place is something that if you're going there out of genuine anger and bigotry, it's pretty ugly. A guy who would REALLY just ignore how much everything hurts you... isn't a Dom, he's a monster. Watch out for those guys. They don't get to play in the BDSM scene much, because they get found out and everybody gets warned off, and they either cool their jets and do some apologizing, or nobody says Yes, Sir to you. Me... I'm kind of my own thing. Sui generis, as the Latin legal language has it - a thing of my own kind. I'm way, WAY weird. So I like to let the cracks show. I like letting guys see me negotiate consent. I am working to embody a very particular, kind of avuncular and also very, VERY perverted energy... It's the "Hey, little scared buddy, why don't you come over here and let me stick this dick in your throat" combo. And... tonight, I fuck at least four guys deep in the throat... just like one after another. Honestly, when I say "at least" - I think there's more than four. But I'm going to have to work back through my notes, because HOLY HELL.

Anyway. I'm going to plop these videos here, for the moment, with only enough byline to help me remember which thing is which, so I can move them to the right places. They go in order, although there's a long break a couple of times that doesn't have any play in my room, like when we walk around. 

So, I run into his hot boy in the maze. And he kneels down, and sucks my dick. Young, Latin, ballcap, jockstrap. It takes me a while to realize, it's a boy I've played with a month ago [see: Peristalsis] and so I take him back to my room. 

Once there, I kneel him down on the floor, and we talk. He is OK now with having parts of his body that aren't his face or showing his tattoos, in the videos. SWEET. The first one, I take with the camera pointed at the bed, so it's just audio. You hear me talk about the sexiness of men's musk, and how I want him to roll his face in my armpits until he stinks like me, and then I put my fingers into my pit and dig around, then rub it in his nose to make sure it stays with him. I fuck his throat a LOT. I talk about the effects that hypercapnia and hypoxia have on his body, as I'm fucking. All of this is happening with me standing and him kneeling. The noise where he's whimpering - I'm smacking his nuts repeatedly with my hand. He really did get tears in his eyes. I LOVE "cocksucker tears."

I talk, as I'm doing all the things I'm describing. You won't see much happening; the camera is just pointed at the bedsheet. I put my cock in his throat, holding for time, taking him into a hypercapnic state where his body will freak out from buildup of carbon dioxide. You don't run out of air, at least not with this technique. You freak out because your blood doesn't get enough of its carbon dioxide removed. It alters the acidity of your blood, and that's something the body's regulatory systems have VERY strong feelings about. So far as I know, it's the only trigger that's been found to effectively create a fear/panic response in people born with a genetic damage in the brain that makes them unable to feel fear. In experiments, if scientists need to induce an immediate fear response for something like functional brain imaging, they sometimes use a couple of breaths worth of CO2-heavy air - which continues to feed your need for oxygen, so you're not going to pass out, or become faint from lack of oxygenation to the brain - and you get freakout hypercapnia without hypoxia. SO. He gets hypercapnia. His body starts to freak out. He's becoming a little woozy; he feels both overcharged and buzzy. His body literally shakes like he's shivering from cold. The fact that we start this with shotgunning poppers on a cloth [see also: Circus Sex] adds to that rush. And then, by keeping his breathing limited and shallow by controlling how long I take my dick out of his throat, and when, and how much time I give him to breathe. I SO wish you could see him - but, given the chance between being able to enjoy DOING it, and doing it on camera... I want to DO it. I start out with a caveat - I'll start off by giving him poppers, then fucking his throat, and I will stop if he taps - or if he becomes unconscious. 

I will let y'all listen to the video. I talk through the whole thing - I'm not going to go through and fully transcribe it, at least not right now. 

I start with giving deepthroat instructions, and work up to deepfucking his esophagus. And if you don't like listening to the sounds... this isn't your clip. But I think it's hot. I promise you he made every one of those noises. The sounds of slapping were sometimes his ass... other times his back, his chest, his face. 

Then, I spank and then enter and fuck him. Because it's not showing his face or his tattoos, I can show you video of those awesome parts. I spank him, and he automatically starts counting the strokes. I laugh, thinking to question if we had a numerical goal... but he explains, "I was trained." Yeah... he was. This boy has had EXCELLENT training. He's refining a few throat skills, and at one point, I realize hearing the audio, he was asking if he had progressed from the time I played with him like a month ago - and yes, DEFINITELY, he's got better management of his teeth and opening the arch of his jaw. I don't think I hit him quite so much the time before.

I stop fucking, and play with his prostate for a while. Then, I put him back on his knees for more throatfucking. Swallow... swallow... swallow. Again, I'm not in the mood right now to make a transcript... but yes. Yes, puppy, you've gotten better since last time. Work on that thing I was showing you with your tongue. Use Aaah sounds and coughing to open your throat. Remember to lick the bottom of the dick when it's all the way in, like you were eating pussy. Good boy. 

I have been watching and jerking off to this REALLY rough sex video with crooked cops making their prisoners suck dick and smoke meth. I have ISSUES with the meth. I've written a lot about it. [see also: Why I Can'T]. But, I've also learned to appreciate why some guys crave the sensation. I think sometimes because they don't feel like they can let themselves experience intensity without it. But, I do some of the stuff they were doing in this video. This is just a Twitter clip, the bit I trimmed out of that video to post and talk about (and, frankly, to get more following, because I know that sexy posts featuring hot muscular studs doing the weird shit, get more exposure.) I'm sexy; I'm not insecure about that, but I do know I don't have the body that mainstream porn wants. I am always surprised and delighted with how many guys give me a pass because I can do the weird shit. Like, I get two to three extra points, because I'm brazenly, intensely into strange rough sex. It's kind of like the thing I wrote about in an earlier entry about Big Dick Privilege/Big Dick Problems - guys who are into a particular thing, will give me extra points. I'm a six, maybe a seven, in good light - I'm comfortably above average on most things, but I'm mid-fifties overweight Dad bod. And FUCK ME, if there aren't a lot of amazingly hot young guys who just look at that, and my dick, and my attitude, and decide I'm their new favorite flavor. I LOVE this effect. It delights me immensely. 

So... here's that snippet from the porno. One of my favorite things, is where the guy says, "Make that noise again, that fag sound" - and he means the sound of the guy gagging, and then inhaling around his dick with a slurping noise. Then he makes the guy say, "I love cock" and on the "aaaah" of cock, he shoves his cock deeper, because the boy's throat is open. 

He is SUCH a fucking good boy for me. This one.... I'm literally negotiating with this boy, teaching him how I want it. I start with deepthroat instructions. Then, I make him say "I love cock." I think this sounds SO fucking hot. I talk about jerking off to that other video. And, as I'm talking, a couple of times he replies, but mostly his mouth is on my dick. Then I make him say it again. And again and again. I need to shoot in some way that I can put the microphone up to his throat.... Oh, fuck, dudes, who wants to try it with a stethoscope? I don't have any idea where the old one that goes with my old-school sphygmomanometer, but I might just also get a medium-cheapo one (because that was a WAY cheapo one) and see what bodies sound like when, for instance, you're thrusting your cock vigorously into a boy's throat. It makes this kind of splorching, glurping sucking noise. The mucus is getting to the point that it's almost frothy; he could spit it in a sieve and probably it wouldn't go through. And... I've been in the same state since Mister Real Daddy railed my throat. It still tastes a little of jizz in the back of my mouth. I am walking around with my throat so full of lubricant that it makes my voice husky. It's not at all unpleasant, but you kind of feel like you need to snort or spit or something. And you CAN spit... fuck, if you hock up a little bit, and you blow it outward through pursed lips, instead of just pucker-and-expectorate... you create a lubricant spray that just kind of coats a surface in slimy lube. I spit on his face, I slap him. You hear some of it. But he's not up for having his face on anything or his tats - so, I think this is a hot option. Trust, that the things that you don't see, are hotter than the things you see. He's a slim, submissive Latino. He's got little sweet pinchable, slappable cheeks. 

I wish this thing showed video titles. It's a pain in the ass to sort them into proper order. This is Deepthroat Instructions and Throatfisting

This is me talking about this porn, which has me SO conflicted... because it glamorizes meth use, or at least it shows guys using meth and doing the hot sex. And I get lots of requests for that, and I am NOT INTERESTED. I pulled a clip with no meth, but there is meth in the movie as a whole, and the top holds the pipe for the bottom, and sometimes he puts it into his mouth alongside his cock, and then makes him blow the smoke up his shaft. It's INTENSE. And I know that for some guys, it opens up the hairy beast... but it just puts me off being around guys who are twitchy with it. I've never tried it. 

This is long. Most of it, is just sound with no picture. The phone is recording face-down. Then, I pick it up and spank and fuck his ass some more. If you don't want to listen to me talk as he's sucking my dick, skip to about 6:30. We talk a lot as he's working my cock. After fucking him for a while, I ask him if I'm the first guy who's fucked him tonight - his butthole is lubing my cock so much it's frothy. It's a mix of throat mucus and mucus from the intestine. They both protect themselves with lubricating mucus. I spit on his hole and fuck it in. 

I didn't think about until I'm writing this up - but I am drooling hot Daddy Steve's sperm into his asshole with my saliva. I do tell him, while I'm fucking him, about sucking the semen out of Steve, and how he had to go home to his wife and kids. Then, when I say "we're going to go for a walk" - I walk him around the mazes. And I share him with other men. My favorite way, is to find a small group - like in the video room, or the sauna, and go stand nearby, but not right up against, them. I put him on his knees, and begin showing off his throat - and then offer to hold him for guys I think are hot. A time or two, I fuck him while he sucks the other guy. Twice, I want to suck that dick myself - and I do. One is a hot young Black man in the sauna; one is a furry little cubby guy in the maze. 

I fuck him some more, and I ask him if he's had other men before me tonight. I kind of like the way it sounds. His ass is self-lubricating a lot, plus all the throat slime. 

Then, after a break and some walk-around, we end up in the steam room. I have asked him earlier, if he's into watersports, but I admit that I stepped a little over his line when I relaxed and just started pissing down his throat. He doesn't hate it, but it was a lot all at once.  Then, we go walk some more.

The little submissive Latin boy and I walk around, and we snag a hot otter looking guy. The otter keeps saying he's just a bottom, he doesn't suck dick, he just wants to get his ass fucked. So, we work through a scene where I fuck him in the ass with the Latin boy's throat slime, while LB is deepthroating his cock. It's a pretty awesome fuck. He's furry, and his body is meaty and solid. He agrees to having the camera running for sound. 

 After a break and a shower, LB comes back to my room again, and we do some more training. I talk more about that video - about the part where the guy says, "Make that sound again - that fag sound..." and he makes it, again and again. Then, I have him demonstrate on my own prostate, the skills training I've been giving him. I'm still fucking him in the throat. He's pretty good, but he's got room to improve on the prostate part. It results in a shuddering, trembling orgasm that lasts a while. 

This gets pretty spicy. I call him a fucking faggot. I check in with him, so that everybody will know he's still consenting. 

This is just audio, of the sound my belt makes coming out of the loops, and me describing that and beatings when I was a kid.